mind your business show notes

mindyourbusinesslogo.jpg

SHOW 18

10 AUGUST 2018

SELF SABOTAGE

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

It’s the second week of August and our self sabotage theme. This week I have a guest who is happy to share her experience of self sabotaging.

Penny Riviera is a talented New Zealand singer/songwriter based in London who writes musical observations on life and pop culture. Her lyrics are articulate and observe the triumphs and fragilities of life and her live performances are spotted with heart and humour. 

She has released 2 singles in the past 18 months to acclaim by the UK country and performance scene and has been featured on London Live TV, Chris Country Radio and more.

Penny has been performing across London to crowded venues including the Hard Rock Café, Mahiki, Pizza Express Live, The Bedford and The Islington and was recently invited to open for multi-award winning, triple-platinum selling Irish band KEYWEST when they played in London. 

Coming up...

Penny is headlining a show at the NOTTING HILL ARTS CLUB on August 19th and is set to release her debut EP at The Hard Rock Café London on October 10th. 

The pleasure is all mine when I introduce Penny Riviera to the show.

Hello Penny..

Last week I talk about what self sabotage is and the why of doing it. I determined the following whys:

·       You may be too stressed or tired to problem solve or make a decision during a complex situation therefore fall back on often unreliable yet familiar heuristics.

·       You may sabotage relationships for fear of closeness, intimacy or rejection.

·       You may procrastinate or avoid because you fear failure or possess minimal or no planning/time management skills.

I also offered you some ways to powerfully step closer towards shifting this behaviour. Listen to the podcast at Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur or at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk to discover what they are.

This week we're exploring the how of self sabotage and it’s symptoms/what it looks like.

Symptoms

There’s a belief that with awareness can come change so in order to shift negative behaviours it’s first necessary to be able to spot them as they arise. You may actually believe your own negative self talk and so not recognise your self sabotaging behaviours.

So here are some common signs and symptoms of self sabotage that you can look out for.

·         Using words like “should” or “I can’t”

·         Suffering from a conflict inside with your hopes and desires battling against your failure to change anything.

·         Low self esteem because you feel powerless to achieve what you want

·         Feeling that no matter what you try you just can’t succeed

·         Being majorly modest – downplaying your achievements and stepping away from the limelight (shown to be most common in women). Marianne Williamson says, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”

Well that's it for another Mind Your Business show.

Join me next week with a guest when I start to unpick the behaviours that prevent us from living a bold and fulfilled life.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Thank you for listening beautiful woman entrepreneurs. Please spread the love by sharing the podcast to your tribe so that they may be served as you have been.

Follow me on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur, listen from there or listen from the embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk website.

This week’s podcast will be out within 7 days of this show.

Bye for now..

(Please listen to the podcast for conversations between Nicolette and Penny which have not been scribed).

SHOW 17

3 AUGUST 2018

SELF SABOTAGE

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

So it’s August and that means a brand new theme.

This month is all about Self Sabotage. What is self sabotage and why does it exist? Are you aware that you might be doing it? What’s the impact of doing it on your business and personal life?

How do you create that mental shift away from powerlessness often the result of self sabotage towards feeling and being powerful where self sabotage holds you less and is a smaller part of your world?

In today’s show, our first one of the series we'll explore the why of self sabotage.

So what is self sabotage?

Self Sabotage Definition

Psychology Today defines it as: ”Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems as it tries to solve them, interferes with long-standing goals, and hinders relationships .”

As I’ve learnt more about self sabotage, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the way we rescue ourselves from our negative feelings. So there’s much denial, a lack of taking responsibility and little regard for our own ability to choose and create change.

There are many ways to self sabotage including behaviours like procrastination (tomorrow/later), self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and the extreme-like forms of self-injury such as cutting. There’s also thinking too small, denying yourself, worrying, lacking authenticity, creating isolation, disempowering other women, living in ‘if only’ land, suppressing your thoughts, dismissing your feelings and devaluing yourself.

These are acts that give us the relief we're looking for in the moment however in the long run they zap our power and undermine us as women when we repeatedly engage in them.

Is this you and where are you on a scale of 0-10 (0 = none/10 = fully aware) in realising that you can choose a different way of thinking? All you need is the decision to do so and the tools.

So why do we self sabotage?

According to Melanie Greenberg Phd, clinical psychologist and life coach there are 3 main reasons why we self sabotage:

1.    our thinking patterns

2.    relationship fears

3.    our tendency to stick with the familiar and avoid difficult or uncomfortable situations.

So before we look at the actual behaviours and how to create change, let’s take a moment to look at why they even exist.

1. The Way We Think

There’s something called the familiarity heuristic whereby our brains gravitate towards the familiar, overestimate risk and avoid new things.

Being heuristic is where you discover, problem solve or learn something for yourself but the outcome doesn't necessarily have to benefit you... its just about it being enough to reach an immediate goal. Heuristics can be mental shortcuts that ease the cognitive load of making a decision so in this instance you've learnt something relating to self sabotaging ie when you do X it produces Y and then you create behaviours to support your new learnings irrespective of whether they benefit you. Here it’s mainly about keeping yourself safe so your mind determines the worst case scenarios and prevents you from trying new things. An example of this might be where you’re nervous about a meeting so you end up being late. If you’re late enough the person might leave resulting in no meeting. Or maybe they’ll choose to not work with you.

As you become aware of this thinking process you’ll observe the pattern of the familiarity heuristic surfacing when you’re under stress and/or tired. What’s interesting here is that even if this familiar behaviour doesn’t serve you, progress you or positively direct you, you’ll still entertain it because it’s comfortable and what you know.

Psychology Today recalls a study where researchers asked subjects to do a complicated word puzzle. One group performed under time pressure while the other was told to take as much time as they needed.  After the puzzle was done, subjects were told they had to do another puzzle, but were given a choice between a longer puzzle invented by the same person who designed the first puzzle or a short puzzle designed by somebody they did not know. The group who performed under more stressful conditions (time pressure) were more likely to choose the longer puzzle, even though this would put them at a disadvantage.  It’s as if their brains got confused trying to compare the advantages of length versus familiarity and so they just defaulted and resorted to the “familiarity heuristic.” 

It’s actually a challenge to know whether you’re thinking heuristically. So what can you do to stay on top of your behaviour in spite of this challenge and avoid falling into old patterns? What about making important decisions when you're calm and less stressed?

2. Fear of intimacy of fear of rejection

So lets look at another main reason why we self sabotage. I mentioned that self sabotage can show itself in relationships. Perhaps you’ve experienced this when your relationships reach a certain level of intimacy.

If so, how does it show itself? Cheating, clingy, controlling, argumentative? It’s the brain’s unconscious way of avoiding feeling trapped or getting rejected at that certain level of intimacy.

We are the sum of our past living experiences and so often these behaviours come from our childhood relationships with our caregivers.

Perhaps your caregiver was critical or conditional in their love giving. Neglectful or judgemental. Your brain has stored those experiences and recalls them as pain. As you form new relationships you act as though you’re still with your parents. You’ll either act in the same way or as an extreme you might even act in the complete opposite way which can also create a negative outcome.

How can you move away from this non-serving behaviour?

1.    Accept and see your feelings for what they are – insecurity, fearful?

2.    Seek professional help to assist you in stepping into adult mode so that you can maturely, mindfully and healthily talk about what’s going on for you.

3.    If you’re unable to gain professional support, remind yourself that you’re an adult now with greater resources and a greater capacity to tolerate stress, rejection, judgement and self care than you did as a child.

4.    If you feel lacking in these skills then seek out trusted support to assist you.

5.    Remind yourself what you gain by staying connected to this shift in thinking.

6.    heighten your awareness antenna so that you begin to notice the impact of your behaviour on the happiness of your relationships.

3. Not now...

Putting stuff off and sticking with the familiar is the third main reason that Melanie Greenberg cites as why we self sabotage.

In the very first month of Mind Your Business way back in March this year, I talked a lot about procrastination. In fact I presented the first month all about it. Check out the podcasts if you haven’t already at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk or Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur. Don’t forget to Follow on Mixcloud.

So procrastination is a behaviour that is a result of self sabotage but why do we procrastinate and avoid in the first place?

There are several reasons, some more scientific than others and if you’d like the full lowdown please do listen to the Procrastination podcasts on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur or at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk.

Briefly put, it may be a skill set acquired to ‘save’ you from displeasure or learnt behaviour.

It might be that you’ve never been taught how to plan or create a schedule for when actions need to be executed.

It might be learnt behaviour in response to overwhelm and you haven’t yet learnt an overriding behaviour. Perhaps you're a perfectionist or/and you overthink things. As I mentioned in the Procrastination podcast, perfectionism comes solely from fear. Check out the podcast to learn more.

So what are you afraid of if that’s the case?

I’m sure you must have realised by now that procrastination only postpones the inevitable giving you pleasure at the time however causing you anxiety in the long run. How can you avoid the anxiety and the desire to procrastinate?

Observe your behaviour, allow yourself to be imperfect, break down big tasks into small actions, create realistic time frames to implement, become curious about outcomes without attachment and allow imperfection – the task might be imperfect but are you and who creates the blueprint for the perfection anyway? Isn’t it you?

Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University and discoverer of the mindset psycholical trait talks about having a growth mindset.

With a growth mindset we can become less anxious about failure because it makes it less scary by seeing ourselves as able to learn from the experience and therefore grow. When we make our abilities fixed, you're more likely to avoid performance situation and self sabotage for fear of exposing your failures and weaknesses.

If you fear failure because of the limelight or the pressure you believe it will place on you then there’s a strong chance you’ll set yourself up for failure through self sabotage. Until you accept your role in the failure you'll continue this behaviour because that’s how it serves you. Remember that however we behave or whatever we do, we do it because we get something from it whether it's negative or positive.

Closing

So why do we self sabotage?

There’s no single or simple answer. What we have identified today though is that:

·       You may be too stressed or tired to problem solve or make a decision during a complex situation therefore fall back on often unreliable yet familiar heuristics.

·       You may sabotage relationships for fear of closeness, intimacy or rejection.

·       You may procrastinate or avoid because you fear failure or possess minimal or no planning/time management skills. (Check out April MYB podcast of time management for assistance with this).

Whatever it is that’s causing you to deny yourself the opportunity of success and living authentically, you’ll need to implement some new actions if you choose to create change.

Solutions

·       Get rest and reduce negative stress create clarity and better choice making.

·       Seek professional support, get to know the roots of your fears of intimacy/rejection and take small steps towards closeness to develop your relationships.

·       Take more responsibility for your actions and self motivation plus adopt a growth mindset to reduce procrastination in all areas of your life.

By identifying some of the known reasons why we self sabotage we can then identify what that looks like behaviour-wise, the how and implement new actions to positively override them.

I hope today’s show has brought you a step closer to recognising and understanding self sabotage plus it’s impact on you - it’s ability to create powerlessness within.

Join me next week with a guest when I start to unpick the behaviours that prevent us from living a bold and fulfilled life.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Thank you for listening beautiful woman entrepreneurs. Please spread the love by sharing the podcast to your tribe so that they may be served as you have been.

Follow me on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur, listen from there or listen from the embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk website.

This week’s podcast will be out within 7 days of this show.

Bye for now..

 

SHOW 16

27 JULY 2018

THE POWER OF SAYING NO

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

It’s week four of The Power of Saying No and we’ve got another amazing show for you this afternoon because joining me in the studio this week is Vicki Igbokwe, Creative Director, Choreographer and Founder of Uchenna Dance, a dance company, based in London, UK. 

Vicki’s work focuses on empowerment, entertainment and education through the creation of dance theatre productions, coaching, dance-based empowerment workshops, public speaking, and teaching in further and higher education. 

In addition to being the creative director and choreographer of Uchenna Dance, Vicki also works as an independent choreographer, teacher, lecturer and curator, and is a trustee for One Dance UK, the UK body for dance, and an associate artist at The Place, the UK's premiere centre for contemporary dance. www.uchennadance.com

It gives me great pleasure to welcome you to the studio Vicki Igbokwe.

Hello Vicki....

So we’re on the last show for the Power of Saying No theme and last week, my guest Dannie-Lu Carr introduced the notion of permissions.

Giving yourself permission to say no powerfully.  I’d like to delve a little deeper into this for our final show today because as well as needing the confidence and self belief that saying no doesn't have to jeopardise your relationships or that creating boundaries and developing assertiveness can offer you a way into saying no, unless you make a commitment to honour yourself and permit it, it’s all pretty futile. It has to start with you to even exist and grow.

By default, life itself has no meaning. It’s like a blank canvas that becomes art once you create it.

So how would life be different for you if you gave yourself permissions? Permission to be successful, permission to fail, permission to feel sad/happy, permission to take action, permission to be you.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a child we spend most days being told when we can and can’t do something: can't watch TV, have a snack, go out and play, leave the dining room table. Many of us then grow up thinking we need to get permission from others as we mature into adulthood and spend the rest of our lives seeking permission from others to live. It is said that a sign of maturity is being able to say no without feeling the need to offer an excuse.

So how do you undo years of conditioning where you've asked for permission to do just about everything in your world?

In last week’s show I talked about the importance of practice, practice, practice in order to take affirmative action and create change when rewiring the brain to say no with confidence and grace.

This is definitely one way of starting that journey. So let’s put that into practice now by identifying some of the things you might not be giving yourself permission to do.

Chances are, if you’re not giving yourself permission to say no then this is bleeding into other areas of your world and you’re living a very black and white version of yourself.

By identifying where you deny yourself you can start the practice of saying no and build a stronger connection to your truth watching a new world of opportunity open up in front of  you.

Here’s 15 things you might presently not be giving yourself permission to do or be.

15 Things You Don’t Give Yourself Permission To Do Or Be

1.    Make mistakes

2.    Rest when you want to - lie in and wear PJs all day

3.    Put yourself first

4.    Fulfil your dreams

5.    Ask for what you want

6.    Be who you are

7.    Ask for help

8.    Stop caring what others think of you

9.    Not know something and be open to learning

10.Be whatever body shape you choose to be

11.Be bold and courageous

12.Forgive yourself

13.Eat the foods you enjoy, in moderation

14.Live in abundance

15.Let go of the past

This list isn't exhaustive but I really do hope that at least one of the denials has struck a chord with you.

The following exercise is not included in the show recording due to time constraints.

Try this exercise to assist in making the shift.

Get a piece of paper and write in BIG BOLD letters, “I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO .....”

Write everything you need to say NO to. Everything.... unshared chores, certain friends who gossip and are nay sayers, TV programmes, expired commitments. Anything!! It’s your list because it’s your choice. You choose and if you want to say yes that’s fine too as long as you’re also saying no along the way. When you say no you restore your power and saying yes can become an act of love.

If someone who says they love you cannot adjust to you standing your ground then.... is that love? Remember that saying no and getting rejected won’t kill you but.... research has found that saying yes in spite of yourself, when you'd rather say no can bring the end a little closer.

That's it for today's show.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Thank you for listening beautiful woman entrepreneurs. Please spread the love by sharing the podcast to your tribe so that they may be served as you have been.

Go to Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow me please or listen from the embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk website.

This week’s podcast will be out within 7 days of this show.

Next month we talk Self Sabotage so please do join me.

Bye...


SHOW 15

20 JULY 2018

THE POWER OF SAYING NO

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

It’s week three of The Power of Saying No and we’ve got an amazing show for you this afternoon because joining me in the studio this week is Dannie-Lu Carr, a Personal Impact, Communications and Creativity Specialist who provides speaking engagements, seminars, workshops and consulting internationally.

Dannie is also a published writer. In 2012 she wrote the well-received book Brilliant Assertiveness, where she deals with what it means to be assertive, why people struggle with it and how to implement it into your day to day world. She believes that saying no and holding your boundaries are two of the most essential skills anyone (especially women) need to master in order to take charge of their lives.

Welcome to Mind Your Business Dannie. How are you? I’m really looking forward to your contributions to today’s show.

In last week’s show, I explored saying no powerfully without jeopardising relationships. I’d like to recap and finish talking about this and then get some thoughts from Dannie too.

So I talked about 3 Steps to Strengthening Your Ability to Say No Without Jeopardizing Your Relationships. The first one is to replace an automatic no with “I’ll think about it,” giving yourself time to consider how the request can serve you.

I suggested the importance of communicating a response time and honouring it without fail especially if the answer is going to be no.

Sandwiching your response was the second step which was seeing your communications like a custard cream. I adapted the Oreo Cookie Communication tool from Judith Sils Phd, a Media Psychologist and author of Excess Baggage, Getting Out of Your Own Way and Britishised it. Hence the custard cream analogy.

It’s where you begin your NO communication with an authentic acknowledgement of the other person’s contribution to the request at hand. So for example saying something like, “the work that you do for X is so admirable and I love the work you’re doing.” That’s your top biscuit layer.

Then you add the filling stating why on this occasion your answer is a no. Something like, ”On this occasion I'd like to gracefully decline your offer/opportunity because it no longer aligns with what I’m doing/because my schedule is chokka blok/because unfortunately I’m not available/I’m out of the country.” Whatever your true reason is.

Be mindful as you share your reason especially if it’s based on the simple fact that you just don’t want to do it. We’re talking about maintaining relationships so we always want the other person to feel valued and recognised.

Now it’s time to sandwich your response with the other biscuit layer… appreciation. Something like, “Thank you so much for thinking of me. I really appreciate it.” You might even add, “Please don’t hesitate to ask me again in case things have changed/in case I’m free/in case I’m in the country.”

This is your Custard Cream Communication tool and creating it can be a smooth and gracious way to decline requests with respect for the other person/people yet honouring you. It can be practised away from situations on your own or with those you trust in preparation for those more challenging times.

The third step I talked about last week for strengthening your ability to say no without jeopardising your relationships was about containing your emotional tsunami.

That time where you feel completely cut up inside that you need to say no but realise that a professional and calm exterior is what’s needed for positive resolution. In this situation it’s important to remind yourself of your mission, vision and intention. Let that be your guide so that you can communicate with conviction, clarity and confidence.

If you missed last week’s show and would like to hear it, you can visit embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk. Please do share as well if you have someone in your world whose journey you’d love to support.

And we have one final step to complete how you maintain your relationships when saying no and that is Practice, Practice, Practice….

This one is a lesson for us all I think. I’m presently working with Music and Creative director Byron Gold who leads a very talented a capella vocal group called The Gold Vocal Collective. They were runners up in last year’s Sky1 Sing Ultimate A Capella television show.

As I attend rehearsals and coach Byron there’s one thing that stands out a mile in respect to the collective’s mindset. They truly appreciate the power of practice, practice, practice. They’re not as fine-tuned as they are because they jump out of bed and straight on to the stage. They’re that good because they rehearse, rehearse and rehearse.

If you want to create change in your belief of finding it hard to say no easily then you must take action…. and repeat…. and repeat.

This is where you hone your skill. “I am powerful when I say NO" repeating that daily until it overrides the present limiting belief. Visualising yourself back in a situation where you didn’t say no and wished you had. See yourself say no – powerfully…. And repeat.

Practice with non-judgemental friends who understand your journey or with a coach who can professionally support your stumbles and build your confidence along the way.

Or the ultimate, courageous yet rewarding exercise of just saying no when you mean it at every given opportunity.

Have you got anything you’d like to add to that Dannie?

Dannie speaks….

When we come back let’s hear the gems that Dannie has for you and talk boundaries.

BREAK

Welcome back. You’re listening to Mind Your Business with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke. We’re on week three of The Power of Saying No.

Well let’s talk boundaries.

What are boundaries Dannie and why do we need them?

How can my women entrepreneurs create boundaries and develop assertiveness to say no?

When we come back, we'll explore Seven Questions to Ask Yourself When Challenged to Say No.

Stephen Covey, Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Powerful Lessons in Personal Change says, “You have to decide what your priorities are and have the courage to say NO to other things.”

Tony Jeary, Author, Coach, Mentor and Expert makes it very clear that when you say no you give yourself the opportunity to focus on the high leverage activities in your business.

If you’re still feeling like you’re not sure whether you can say no to others and yourself, here are six questions I’ve come up with to assist you in filtering out the noise, finding clarity and remaining focussed and confident when saying no.

Seven Questions to Ask Yourself When Challenged to Say No

1.    Why am I reluctant to say no?

2.    What’s the impact on me and my world if I say yes?

3.    What in my life matters most right now and is critical to resolve?

4.    Will saying yes help to resolve it?

5.    Where do I tend to allocate most of my time? (What we focus on becomes our reality. So is where you’re spending your time most serving you well and will saying yes to the request draw you deeper down a rabbit hole or allow you to rise above it?)

6.    Who or what do I want to spend my time with/doing? (When you know how you’d like to spend your time, it helps to weed out the time wasting requests. Saying No becomes much easier).

7.    What does saying no look and feel like in this instance? (Taking a minute to appreciate the consequences of your answer can assist you in making a no decision and communicating it).

That's it for another week of Mind Your Business with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

If anything has come up in today’s show that I can assist you with, maybe you’d like to develop and implement the contents of today’s show then please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Just go to www.embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and connect with me from there.

Exclusively for my listeners who wish to make change in their world, Dannie would like to offer you something special.

6 month Facebook Course at the beginning of August. £90.00 for the 6 months with weekly modules to complete. Contact Dannie for more details at www.dannielucarr.com.

Listen to the show again at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and on Mixcloud under Embodied Entrepreneur. Why not follow me on Mixcloud to get updates on new shows.

Beautiful woman entrepreneur, can you be open to seeing your own light shine brightly and seeing the possibility of creating the life you wish to live powerfully? I believe in you…..

Coming up in Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Join me next week for the last in series of The Power of Saying No.  Byeeee


Show 14

13 JULY 2018

THE POWER OF SAYING NO

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

We’re having such an amazing summer here in London. I hope you are too.

I’m joined in the studio this week by Andra Campau, Personal Development Coach, Trainer and Psychologist. Andra’s not a stranger to Wandsworth Radio because she was a guest with me back in the day when I presented Healthy Wandsworth.

How are you Andra? It’s really lovely to have you back.

So this is our second show in July on the Power of Saying No and Andra has joined me in the studio today as an expert to offer you amazing, accessible tools to confidently be able to say no.... powerfully.

Last week I opened the show with 3 interesting reasons why we say yes and the benefits of saying no. Did you miss the show and want to listen? No problem. Just visit embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk where you can download the show to listen at your convenience and Follow the podcasts on Mixcloud to be notified of future shows.

This week is all about strengthening your ability to say no without jeopardizing your relationships. If you don’t say no because you’re worried about what your friends, colleagues, partner, parents might say, feel or that they may not like you then you’re a classified people pleaser and for as long as you continue to want to placate others and sacrifice yourself you’ll continue to say yes more often than no.

So we’ve established why we say yes and how we can benefit as both a woman and a woman entrepreneur. But what if you’re still stuck on the first reason I mentioned last week about why we say yes.. the fact that you don’t know how to say no?

Well let’s look into that a bit more after this break.

BREAK

Before the break I posed the question “What if you still don’t know how to say no after all the tips, info and tools included in the last week's show and up to this point.”

So let’s explore that.

Many of us have been in a situation where we've wanted to get fitter or lose weight, right? Well like a weak muscle or an urge that keeps calling you, saying no has to be practiced to be realised.

You’re not going to step onto a treadmill and straightaway run 20 miles. You have to practice everyday until you change the way your mind thinks and the way your body works. That takes patience, bags of self love and time. Agreed?

So if you’re sitting there listening and saying to the me, “yea I get the benefits and the reasons but I still find it a challenge to form the words no, say it and mean it!” Don’t worry because my experience as a coach tells me that you're not the only one.

Could you be open to the fact that in order to move forwards it's like the treadmill scenario I just mentioned. Saying no is a learnt skill and you need to rehearse it daily doing actions that prepare you, reinforce you and make it easier to say no.

Andra, from a people pleasing perspective, what are your thoughts on saying no powerfully without jeopardizing relationships?

Andra talks....

When we come back, I’ll share with you my 4 Steps to Strengthening Your Ability to Say No Without Jeopardizing Those Often Loved Relationships.

BREAK

As I‘ve mentioned before when we think about saying no, we think about the impact it will have on the other person/people.

What would happen if you reframed that thought and focussed on the impact on you instead? How will not honouring your true desires impact you in the long run.

With the help of Judith Sills Phd, Media Psychologist and Author of Excess Baggage, Getting Out of Your Own Way, I've identified 4 ways to strengthen your ability to say no without jeopardizing your relationships.

4 Steps to Strengthening Your Ability to Say No Without Jeopardizing Your Relationships

1.    Replace Automatic No With “I’ll think about it.”

Give yourself time to consider how the request can serve you. You don’t have to answer immediately and if the other person is pushing you for an answer, stand your ground and confidently tell them that that you’ll think about it. At the same time, satisfy their urgency by suggesting a time that you’ll respond and honour it without fail especially if the answer will be no.

2.    Sandwich Your Response

Judith calls this the Oreo Cookie Communication Strategy. I’d like to Britishise it.

Do you remember custard cream biscuits? Very British biscuits to accompany a cup of British tea. Well if saying no feels exceptionally challenging and postponing an answer isn’t comfortable, consider saying something really lovely and authentic first like, “Your contribution to the blahblah community/company is really admirable and I love the work that you do.”

Then state why on this occasion it’s a no. ...”I must say though that on this occasion I'd like to gracefully decline your offer/opportunity because it no longer aligns with what I’m doing/because my schedule is chokka blok and it’s essential that I prioritise my tasks to stay on track/because unfortunately I’m not available/out of the country.” Whatever your true reason is. Remember you don’t have to give a reason. It could just be that you don’t want to do it.... and could say that mindfully.

When you’ve declined, given your reason or not and made it clear where you stand, sandwich this with appreciation like, “Thank you so much for thinking of me. I really appreciate it.” You might even add, “Please don’t hesitate to ask me again in case things have changed/in case I’m free/in case I’m in the country.”

This is your custard cream strategy and creating it can be a smooth and gracious way to decline requests with respect for the other person/people yet honouring you.

3.    Contain your emotional tsunami

Even if you're feeling cut up inside because you need to say no, remain calm externally and say what you mean without emotional attachment.

Andra, how would you suggest my listeners to emotionally detach from the situation at hand?

Thanks Andra. So, when you step away from your emotions in this instance you’ll see the situation for what it is... not the story you’re telling yourself.

As you stay in the present moment, remind yourself of your mission, vision, intention and let that guide your answer to the request with conviction and confidence.

Well that's it for another show.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Thank you for listening beautiful woman entrepreneurs. Please spread the love by sharing the podcast to your tribe so that they may be served as you have been.

Go to Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow me please or listen from the embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk website.

This week’s podcast will be out within 7 days of this show.

Join me next week to continue the exploration of The Power of Saying No.

Bye...


show 13

6 JULY 2018

THE POWER OF SAYING NO

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs. I’ve missed you all and it’s so lovely to be back! My summer international gigs are all done and dusted for now and it’s comforting to return to my hot seat at Wandsworth Radio. Thank you for joining me today.

Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm.

It’s a brand new month which means a brand new theme. This July we're unpicking the power of saying no and I’d like to start by asking you some questions. Reflect back to a time when you said yes when you really wanted to say no.

  • Why did you say yes?
  • How did you feel emotionally as a result?
  • What thoughts did you have?
  • Who did saying yes actually serve?
  • What do you think the impact of saying no would have been on you and the other person/people? The truth for an answer not the story you’ve made up.

Saying no liberates you and allows you to stay aligned with your life mission, your aspirations, your visions, your intentions. It allows you to stay aligned to you.

Ever been asked to do something you didn’t agree with however because you couldn’t think of a good enough reason to say no...you did it anyway? By the way, did you know that you don’t ever need a ‘good enough’ reason to say no. Why would you do that? You looking for a ‘good enough’ reason that will placate the other person?

Hmmm how about sourcing a reason that placates you. Like “I simply don’t agree with it so not on this occasion thanks” or “my schedule is really busy right now, perhaps in a couple of weeks.” or “you cannot continue to speak to me in that way – no, its unacceptable" or “I’d like to meet for lunch somewhere in the middle rather than over by you this time.”

No sounds final doesn't it but it doesn’t mean that there can't be further discussion about an alternative, another time, a different approach etc. As humans we take no really negatively. When did it become that way? Neuroscience supports the notion that when we say no, it’s effect is much greater than we may intend.

Somewhere in my blog archives, I've written a blog about the Negativity Bias, the theory that as humans we are far more sensitive to bad news. First described by psychologist Roy F. Baumeister, Ph.D., of Florida State University, Psychology Today explains that the Negativity Bias is most likely because of our evolving earlier days where we depended on our instincts for survival. As we’ve grown in intellect and size those instincts have stayed with us and exist to protect us against danger.

If we can understand that our brain is more heavily influenced by negativity than positivity then perhaps we can understand why saying no elicits such negative emotions.

Out of interest, there was a study conducted by John Cacioppo, Ph.D. at the Ohio State University that found that when negative pictures were presented to people (dead cat, mutilated face) the electrical activity in the brain’s cerebral cortex was far greater than when they were shown positive pictures (expensive cars, food). The cerebral cortex just to remind you is responsible for memory, attention, perception, cognition, awareness, thought and consciousness.

Cacioppo demonstrated that the brain’s electrical activity surged more when we experienced negative images but if we refer back to why then we can be soothed knowing that’s it’s just to keep us safe. To rebalance this, research has found that we need to experience at least 5 positive actions to create equilibrium between positive and negative perspectives. When we feel good and positively interact at least 5 times in comparison to 1 negative one we successfully tip the scales.

So with that in mind, how can you say no as a woman entrepreneur to honour yourself and what positive actions can you take to rebalance what you might perceive as a negative. Alternatively, what if I was to suggest to you that no can mean anything you want it to mean. One of the things I remember learning along my way is that no doesn’t mean forever, it just means for now. Taking the power away from no giving it that meaning often really helps me to adjust to events I might otherwise interpret as rejection and negative.

As a woman entrepreneur how are you creating a culture within your business and those you work with that says it’s ok to be honest and say no in the knowledge there’ll be no negative repercussions?

When we come back, we’ll look at why we say yes instead of no.

So why do we say yes?

According to Tony Jeary, Author, Coach, Mentor and Expert we say yes for 3 main reasons.

Why We Say Yes Rather than No

1. We don’t know how to say no
Interesting because we’ve heard the word often enough growing up, “No, you can’t wear your cat woman outfit to Uncle Jack's wedding.” “No, that tattoo isn’t happening.” “No you’re not having bourbon or custard cream biscuits for breakfast.”
Troublesome twos toddlers are constantly saying no if it’s not interspersed with poo poo and wee wee exclamations.
So how do we not know how to say no?
Perhaps its because it’s laden with emotion and beliefs often not our own. What do you think?

2. Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO)
This is a real fear beautiful women entrepreneurs.  I’ve had several clients who have expressed that they’ve said yes to things because they're scared they won't be asked again and they’ll miss out on whatever will happen now or in the future. Is that you?

3. You don’t want to offend  - people pleasing
I’m very passionate about the people pleasing thing beautiful woman entrepreneur because when you please others you neglect yourself and then create negative, begrudging emotions as a consequence. I’m passionate about this because it doesn’t have to be this way but maybe you didn't know that. I’ve successfully worked with many clients assisting them in shifting this way of thinking.

You also become a victim when you’re people pleaser choosing  not to accept responsibility for your part in the situation that’s ocurring. With people pleasing, it’s been observed that women especially have been conditioned to put others first and Dr Caryn Aviv on her YouTube TedXTalk called Say No to Say Yes determines that as women we learn as we grow to look externally for 3 A’s: Affirmation, Acceptance and Approval.

When we do this she says, we deplete our energy individually, within society and economically plus we undermine our own power and integrity.

As I mentioned previously, when you say yes to something you're saying no to something else. Remember that if something you’re being asked doesn’t resonate with you or your values then it’s simply a no. It’s a choice, even if it doesn’t feel like one at the time. There's no creative reason needed to say no. Just YOUR reason.

When we come back we'll look at the benefits of saying no.

It's so important to stay aligned. Staying aligned means that you honour your inner desires, your values and your ultimate mission. It will filter into all areas of your world... with your clients, relationships, money, emotions. I mean, how can you create all the extraordinary things you’re planning if you’re constantly saying yes and constantly thinking of others? If you only get one thing from today's show....Stay aligned beautiful woman entrepreneur!

So, I’d like to put a spin on things. Rather than choosing to see saying no negatively, let’s choose to see it in a positively new light. Most of us do things because there's a reward during or after it’s execution. What do you think you'll be getting from saying no if you did it more often. Why would you say no? How can it benefit you? Let’s look at 6 benefits of saying no as a powerful woman entrepreneur.

Benefits of Saying No

1. Spreading Yourself Thin
Literally speaking, what happens if you spin too many plates? Plates drop, don’t they? You’re unable to focus on any one plate because you’re too busy fire fighting and spinning a slower plate and catching up. Efficiency of plate spinning just goes out the window and you become completely exhausted.
Saying yes all the time to gigs, projects, meetings, requests will do exactly the same. It will deplete you and draw you further away from the opportunities that serve your mission.
Amy Morin, author of, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” did a video for Business Insider where she said, “Every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else that you could be doing with your time.”
Steve Jobs said, “It is only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that really are important.“
So what’s really important to you beautiful woman entrepreneur?

2. Focus
By saying no, you give yourself the opportunity and space to focus on one particular piece of work and complete it satisfactorily. No juggling plates because you’ve agreed to everything you’ve been asked.

3. Set boundaries
By saying no, you set boundaries that separate your work from your personal life. If you’re constantly saying yes to work related requests how can you be available in your personal life and satisfy that part of you that shines when you’re with friends, family or by yourself. Of course this applies the other way round too.

4. Positive mental health
When you are tirelessly on the go juggling different commitments with no respite or balance your immune system becomes challenged together with your nervous system. Your brain will feel frazzled, you’ll feel tired, making decisions will seem like hard work over time and eventually you’ll crash and burn. Saying no will give you your power back both emotionally and physically and enable you to pace yourself, breathe, get the job done, enjoy your journey and be happy.

5. Exploitation Protection
The business partner who continually asks you to stand in for a meeting you’re not fully briefed on. The relationship partner who commits to doing the shopping but then reneges... again. The friend who asks you to sit their dog whilst their away because you live close by but you’re schedule is mayhem.... and they know it. What’s your role in these exploitation situations? Saying a firm, calm and clear No will free you from the chains of someone else managing your time.

6. Finding your inner strength
Saying no is not always about other people or situations. It can be about you too.
That extra piece of cake when you’re stuffed. That toxic boyfriend/girlfriend who you really shouldn’t see anymore. That TV episode you’ve missed and want to catch up with but you so need to update your website.

No can be extremely empowering when it protects you from yourself and your urges. You don’t have to listen to your urges by the way. You can simply acknowledge them rather than resist them.

So when you want to change course, go a different way and become someone different saying no can be such a rewarding way to honour yourself.

7. More Me-time
When you say no to those requests that distract you, you’ll find you create space and time for yourself. What you do in that space and time is your prerogative.

Perhaps you have lunch with friends who don’t deplete you, catch up on books or a show series, go for a walk, cook, organise your home, take up a hobby. The list is endless. Having this time to yourself is priceless because it gives you an opportunity to nourish yourself doing the things you love and to determine what you really want from your life.

8. Allows you to be honest with yourself
Saying no gives you the opportunity to be really true to yourself by only taking on that which serves you. When you say no you’re saying yes to something else and that something else will come from a place of honesty. Ask yourself, “What should I be saying no to,” and give yourself that freedom and liberation to live a life that you steer, you direct and you manage. 

That's it for another week of Mind Your Business with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs. If anything has come up in today’s show that I can assist you with, perhaps you’re tired of being a people pleaser but don’t know how to create change, then please don’t hesitate to reach out. Just go to www.embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and connect with me from there. My mission is to provide a safe space for you to see your own light shining brightly and to live in it with power.

Next week I’ll have a flourishing woman entrepreneur as a guest who’ll share with you her experience of saying yes more than no and how it’s impacted her life and business.

Find our next week whether she’s now chosen a different way to live.

Listen to show again at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and on Mixcloud under Embodied Entrepreneur. Why not follow me on Mixcloud so that you never need to check for a new show update again. They come to you....

Coming up in Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.
Until next week.
Byeeee


show 12

8 JUNE 2018

SELF EXPRESSION

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs. I’ve been working abroad and I’ve missed you all! Thank you for joining me today.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

I’d like to talk about why you should consider starting your own business and why you might also want to steer clear of it all.

  • So are you listening today and thinking about starting your own business?
  • Do your have something you believe will enhance, improve or support someone else’s life?
  • Have you always wanted to do your own thing unfiltered by others?
  • Or does the thought of that make you catch your breath in fear and intimidation?
  • Maybe you’re overwhelmed by the thought of going it alone?
  • Do you feel like your existing rather than living from day to day.
  • What would you need to shift any of those thoughts or feelings into a place of action?

Today’s show has an intention of assisting that shift closer towards your vision by sharing with you the benefits of having your own business together with highlighting the reasons why many choose not to.

WHY START YOUR OWN BUSINESS?

1. Let’s start with flexibility.
As a business owner, you work your own hours and so whether you’re a mama negotiating her time with baby, relationships, the unexpected and salaried employment or you’re newly retired and not quite ready to be put out to pasture yet being self employed could be your answer. It will give you the flexibility to remind you that you’re in control of your world. Which leads me on to another positive reason to start your own business.

2. You’re the one in control
As a business owner you make the ultimate decision and even though customers, suppliers and government officials may still tell you what to do, you don’t have to always listen to them.

3. You get to create
As a business owner you start with a glimmer of an idea, a conversation with a colleague or inspiration from visuals. It’s you that makes that into something creating a brand for recognition. An accessible way for children to understand numeracy, a garden that evolves into a sanctuary, a product that could enhance the lives of a particular group of people. You create that and if as a child you built blocks or completed puzzles and jigsaws you’ll know just how rewarding and satisfying that truly is.

4. You could increase income
Being self employed doesn’t guarantee an increase in income however it definitely opens up opportunity for making more than you could possibly make as an employee. If there’s a sudden demand for a product, it’s more than likely that the company will make a profit and not share it with you.

5. More spare time (eventually)
Looking at the bigger picture, you’ll eventually have more time to spend with friends and family if you create a business that has employees. Of course if it’s just you, then you’ll need to strategically carve out time because in the early days of your business you’ll more often than not feel like you have less time available. Check out my previous podcasts on time management for some useful support regarding this.

6. Set the culture
You can determine the culture and values of your business.

7. Contribute to the economy
When the time is right you may want to employ some assistance and how wonderful to be able to choose who you want to represent your business and to give another being an opportunity to express themselves through your creativity.

8. Become an expert
As you grow your business you will learn new things and over time be an expert in your field first hand.

9. No more work
Unfortunately many of us have a negative connection to the word ‘work’ so based on that I strongly believe that when you do what you love as a profession, you’ll never work another day in your life.

10. Gaining recognition
Being recognised for your business and the work you do can be extremely rewarding for both the business and you.

11. Become a mentor
When you become an expert at a particular something, you develop knowledge that can support someone else who wishes to follow a similar path or simply grow from what you have to offer. Being able to give back is a real benefit of having your own business.

12. Tax breaks
With the help of a qualified and experienced accountant, entrepreneurs (freelancers included) can take advantage of some lovely tax perks. Many can write off expenses like travel, food, phone bills, portions of car payments, and the list goes on. Just ensure that you source a reputable accountant.

13. Freedom to work from anywhere
Unless you have a factory or some manufacturing base that means you can only work from there, being your own boss allows you to pitch up your office absolutely anywhere that has a Wi-Fi connection and the ability to use your mobile data. It also means that you can avoid the daily commute and gain valuable productive time.

14. Leave a legacy
What a wonderful way to be remembered. By your contribution to society and an ongoing ability to continue to do so even after you’re gone.

15. Change the world
You may not set out to change the world when you set up the wig making company however it might be what happens due to unexpected changes within the status quo.

REASONS NOT TO START YOUR OWN BUSINESS
As you can see, there are many reasons to consider starting your own business. Each of those reasons come from an authentic place though therefore giving your business more reason to succeed.

But what if your reasons for starting a business come from a place of desperation or a lack of self responsibility. Do you think a profitable and contributing business can be borne from that?

I’ve put together 5 reasons why you should not start a business when they are built on the following.

1. You hate your job and your boss
Starting a business because you think you can run the company you work at better than your boss is not a valid reason to start your own company. Try ironing out the issues between you and your boss and take responsibility for your contribution to the situation. Apart from looking at your boss's actions, what might you be doing to create such a negative outcome between the two of you too?

2. You want more control
Having a business may actually do the complete opposite of give you control. There are so many factors that are out of your control like when your customers actually pay you or if they’ll even buy from you. You can’t control your employees or where the next piece of work comes from so setting up alone would not be the best solution here. If control is the issue, take a look at what triggers your need for control and address that instead

3. You want to make millions
Chances are you’ll make a satisfying living however not without the need for resilience, tenacity, passion and determination. The desperation of wanting that satisfying living to be based on millions could block any progress to do well especially if resilience, tenacity, passion and determination are not characteristics that you excel in.  So coming from a place of money grasping may not a beneficial way to create a positive and sustainable business.

4. It all might not work out
Your business might not have the positive outcome you expected or planned for however I believe that failure is subjective and that you determine whether something failed or not. That way you can manage your mental health and have a positive approach to outcomes. I’m not talking about being delusional here. More of a reframing of failure to learning. Whatever happens with your business  you’ll be learning and if things don’t go the way you expected perhaps revisit the strategy, look at what didn’t work and how it could be improved and decide whether the business idea is actually viable or it needs tweaking or completely rebuilding.

5. You want an easy life
The start up phase is an absolute nightmare for most entrepreneurs starting out. Late nights, early morning, erratic eating habits, minimal exercising or ‘me-time' and often confusion, insecurities, self doubt and minimal self confidence.
So if you’re looking for an easy life, this is not the direction to take. If there is any time when you can chill, it’s after the start up phase as the business starts to run itself and positively maturing and growing. You'll need to put the hard slog in though before you can get to that stage.

So there you have it. Reasons to start a business and reasons to not even consider it because of a non serving mind set.
I hope that was useful and if there’s anything you’d like to explore further with me then just go to my website embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and contact me. I love hearing from you with your questions and challenges. I’ll get right back to you.

I’m away now until 6 July so if you haven’t listened to all of the MYB podcasts, this would be a great time to catch up on them.

July’s theme will be all about the Power of Saying No.

  • Do you find it a challenge to say no?
  • Have you ever wondered why that is?
  • What would it take for you to powerfully say no to someone?

Catch me in July when we'll be exploring that and more.

Listen to past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show there.

Until then, thank you for listening.


show 11

1 JUNE 2018

SELF EXPRESSION

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs. I’ve been working abroad and I’ve missed you all! Thank you for joining me today.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

So, throughout May and June we're talking about Self Expression and in today’s show I have a very creative guest. Do you remember in the last show I talked about 8 ways to fully self express? Well one of them was about exploring your creative side by mindfully connecting to creativity. I asked you how you could indulge in techniques that allowed for creativity. Be in spaces that opened your mind through surrounding energy, smells, visuals...live through your senses. Write, move, visually create, audibly create.

So I wanted to explore this notion further for you to really get how it can happen. Today’s guest is a wonderful friend of mine who I spent some of my dance training years with. This amazing woman continued her journey of self expression through movement and she's also an artist and author. There is little superficial about my guest this afternoon.
I’d like to introduce to you Mina Aidoo, Embodiment Teacher, Artist and Author.

Mina’s going to assist me in exploring the notion of self expression through creativity where together, that’s Mina, you the listener and me can explore the possibility of connecting or reconnecting to your feminine side through the joys of movement. Want to return to or discover the sacred wisdom of your body? If you’re answer is yes, then you’re in for a treat.  If you’re not quite sure because you're questioning it all, stay with me.

Remember that your questions come from a place of fear as your mind does it’s best to keep you out of the unknown: safe, out of discomfort and experiencing pleasure. Do you remember the Motivational Triad from our previous shows?
So if that’s where your thoughts are, not based on curiosity but on questioning today’s show – how can you self assess through connecting with your body and through movement? I get that what you need is certainty to feel safe about the concept. Stick with me to the end.

Welcome back to Mind Your Business with me Nicolette on Wandsworth Radio and I’m joined in the studio today by Mina Aidoo, Embodiment Teacher, Artist and Author.

Our theme this month is Self Expression and Mina is here to assist me in sharing with you how you can creatively express yourself through connecting with your body as a beautiful woman entrepreneur.

When we express ourselves through movement we communicate non verbally and often share our most inner thoughts and feelings. Like when you’re in a foreign country and need to express what it is that you need . It’s amazing how creative you can become.

Often necessity takes over here however I reckon you can only really be that creative when there’s no feelings of judgment from others. Being able to truthfully self express yourself means that you can respond honestly through emotional release offering a genuine reaction to a situation or event.

The broad benefits of movement which can be with or without music are as follows:
• an increase in confidence and self esteem
• an appreciation of difference
• developing creativity
• relieving stress
• improving posture, balance, coordination
• building freedom and autonomy
• I think most importantly they provide a sense of connection to other human beings. A sense of belonging.

As entrepreneurs, we think outside the box and I wanted to do the same with this week’s show. One of things that Mina and I explored together when creating this show was how it would be received by my listeners because of her unique way of teaching how to self express through body awareness.
I reckon that many of my listeners are going to need to shift their usual way of thinking if being creative isn't their default and that’s why you’re here Mina to assist with that process.

Questions for Mina
• Tell us how you came to this point on your life journey.....
• Where did your self expression journey begin?
• What does self expression mean to you?
• So lets talk about what you do. As well as an artist and an author, you’re also an Embodiment Teacher.  What does that mean and how can my women entrepreneurs benefit from your teachings?
• You’re a trained Non-Linear Movement Method Teacher, trained by Michaela Boehm and presently teaching Awaken Your Body classes/workshops to support women on their journey back to their bodies. For the women listening today, how can they be sure this is something they need right now? For example, what are common traits of many of your participants/clients?
• How will they know they’ve been served?
• What’s your ultimate vision with what you presently do?
• Do you have one piece of advice for any woman entrepreneur out there wishing to truly express herself in business and life however unsure how to take the first step. What’s that first step?
• How can listeners contact you?
• Any future classes/workshops?

About Mina's Classes
In my Awaken your Body Workshops I help people’s bodies to unwind back to their natural state. The way we live now is often contrary to the needs of the body and we have lost the ability to listen and respond to what our bodies are telling us. With the practices that I teach you are more able to to discern boundaries and hear your “YES” and your” NO” with more ease. They help to release hidden trauma and unwind stuck energy and emotions. You are more able to flow with your emotions as they happen in real time rather than there being a delay in understanding what you are feeling. They can also help to heighten and balance out your sexual energy, deepen your instinctual bodily wisdom and in general resensitise you in a healthy way so that you can trust and allow your body to guide you.

The body doesn’t respond well to enforced ideas or strict guidelines that are being imposed by the mind only in attempts to control or manipulate outcomes in your life.

How Mina Teaches
I teach from the perspective that you are already whole and your body knows the best way forward. It is just a case of making space for the body to unwind, and developing an intimate relationship with your body by way of learning to listen, to feel and to trust. I think we have become suspicious of our bodies because we haven’t been able to tame them. Our bodies are not supposed to be tamed or controlled. We have just lost the ability to be in right relationship with ourselves. The work I teach helps you on your journey back to your own sacred knowing that lives in your entire body and not just in your mind.]

As we fully express ourselves, we build a deeper relationship with our true self. In turn we're able to live authentically and in honour of our desires, beliefs and values. All of this becomes very challenging if we cannot accept what we discover along the way and so I wanted to end today’s show with a short quote by John Bradshaw, an Amercian educator, counsellor and motivational speaker.

Self-acceptance is equivalent to personal power. Self-acceptance means we are unified: all our energy is centered and flows outward. Non-self-acceptance creates an inner rupture and inner warfare. In non-self-acceptance we use our energy to hide from our self. As a result we have less energy for directly coping with the world. Self-acceptance makes us fully functional.
— John Bradshaw, American Educator, Counsellor and Motivational Speaker

I’m Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs and that’s it for today on Mind Your Business as we continue to explore Self Expression.

Join me again next week for the last show on Self Expression.

Thank you to my guest Mina Aidoo, Embodiment Teacher, Artist and Author. Remind us how my listeners can do next with you please.

Thank you beautiful woman entrepreneurs for your continued support with MYB.

Listen to past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and why not Follow the show.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Until next week....


show 10

11 MAY 2018

self expression

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

This May we're talking about Self Expression and just to remind you that due to working abroad for some dates in both May and June, the Self Expression theme will be split between May and June.

I’ll be away for the next two Fridays and shall return on 1st June with an amazing guest to continue our talk about Self Expression.

Beautiful woman entrepreneur, ever wondered how you can connect to your feminine side through the joys of movement and return to the sacred wisdom of your body? Would you like to? Well join me on 1st June for an insight into thinking a little differently about how you can express yourself with my creative guest Mina Aidoo, Embodiment Teacher, Artist and Author.

Also, do you find it challenging to say no? Well in July I’ll be discussing the Power of Saying No. Put it in your diary and make an appointment with your CEO (err.... you) to listen in.

So let’s come back to this month's theme Self Expression. My guest today is Mirjam Schneider, Psychological Astrologer. Mirjam’s going to share with us today how women entrepreneurs can practically benefit from having astrological background knowledge in order to excel in their business and life. How can having your astrology chart read assist you in understanding how you truly self express yourself?

Hello Mirjam.... How are you?

Last week in the first show of this theme, I introduced the definition of self expression. Mine being the ability to express through your own means what you internally vision both clearly and powerfully. This can be through conversation via opinion and ideas, through art like music, dance, painting or acting and it can be through personality traits such as your thoughts, feeling or behaviour. It can also be through clothing so what you wear, your department,  how you style your hair and how you give yourself permission to be you.. to be individual.

The term self expression via the Cambridge online dictionary says, “the expression of one's own personalityfeelings, etc, as in paintingpoetry, or other creative activity.

Last week, I invited you to take some time over the steps I offered you to assist in getting closer to who you truly are.  Before you can fully express yourself you're going to need to know exactly who you’re expressing.

So I suggested you get to know who you aren’t and that you ask yourself 5 simple questions:

       i.   Who or what would you be if you knew you couldn’t fail?

       ii.   What’s your personal mission statement?

       iii.   What are your personal core values?

       iv.    What makes you really happy?

       v.     If money were no object, how would you live your life differently?

For full insight into these questions, check out last week’s podcast at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk.

So that’s your foundation to explore from.

I promised you last week that we would discuss ways to become more fully self expressed as a beautiful woman entrepreneur. Before I share that, Mirjam can you name the elements in a chart that should be considered when looking for hints at optimal self expression in a woman entrepreneur. Why are they so valuable to this understanding?

How can I best express myself from my chart Mirjam?

8 Ways to Become Fully Self Expressed

1.    Learn who you are

Well this you’ve already actioned. Are you pursuing your passion? Using your talents? Take a step back and become an observer. Are you fulfilled? Are you settling? Are you gaining knowledge to open up new possibilities? If not, why not? When you learn about who you are, you won’t settle. Seek assistance if you need but please, don’t settle.

2.    Face reality

Facing reality is not easy especially if there's suffering involved. If you want to become Fully Self Expressed you’re going to need to address the things that just aren’t working. E.g....You’re an entrepreneur at heart yet you haven't created the business. You’re breathing entrepreneurship with your business however you’re not moving forwards. You’re in a relationship you keep trying to fix. Cash flow is stuck.

Until you realise that you have the choice to change situations and that you deserve these changes, you’ll trundle along in life with little/no meaning. If you don't know what your life means, how can you express it?

3.    Pick up your Passion

Pick up your passion and run with it. Are you putting other things before you? Are your passions on the back burner simmering away unattended to?

Once you get to know yourself, your passions will reveal themselves. To know yourself, to know your passions and not honour them is a tragedy.

So what’s your passion?

4.    Connect to Creativity

I talked about Self Expression as being among other things about how you dress, write, sing, move. See how you can indulge in techniques that allow for creativity. Be in spaces that open your mind through their energy, smells, visuals. Write daily, carry an ideas book around with you. Hang/brain storm with other fellow creative’s.

5.    Re-Create You

People talk about finding themselves. Is your self found or created? I think it’s created. Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz agrees. He says, “People often say that this person or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something that one finds.  It is something that one creates,” said Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz.

When you create, you have choice. You choose who you wish to be. How powerful!

6.    Be Fully Present

How does it feel to BE inside your body. To fully express, you need a sound place to express from. If only for 5 minutes sit quietly and listen to the sensations within your body. If this isn't possible notice them through your senses when stuck in traffic, standing in a queue, having a tea/coffee, eating. Learn to understand what these feelings mean so that you can express them.

7.    Really Breathe

Breathe deeply to the base of your lungs to cleanse the body and mind especially from slumber. Conscious breathing awakens the being and brings aliveness to your state. In this awakened state you can fully express.

8.    Develop Your Mental Agility

See things from different angles therefore increasing your resilience to challenges. When you come across setbacks, how do you spring back? Be flexible in crisis and you’ll open up opportunity to see how you express yourself under pressure. Then reflect and observe what worked for you to positively self express.

By doing this you bring joy to your being and learn how to fully express yourself in every given moment.

I’m Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs and that’s it for today on Mind Your Business as we continue to explore Self Expression.

Join me again on 1 June with Mina Aidoo, Embodiment Teacher, Artist and Author.

Thank you to my guest Mirjam Schneider, Psychological Astrologer. Remind us how we can connect with you: www.mirjamschneider-astrology.com.

Thank you beautiful woman entrepreneurs for your continued support with MYB. Please catch past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Until 1 June 2018....


show 9

4 MAY 2018

self expression

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

It’s a brand new month and so it’s a brand new theme. This May were going to talking about Self Expression and it's going to be a little different from previous months because I’m working abroad for much of May and June.

So what I’d like to do is have this first week with only me and no guest, next week be me with a guest, then I'm away for the remainder of May returning in June to continue Self Expression for the first 2 weeks of June with guests and then away for the remainder of June to return in July with a brand new theme about the Power of Saying No for the whole month of July.

So let’s talk about this month's theme Self Expression. What do I mean by self expression? What is self expression?

Well when I say self expression, I mean the ability to say what you mean and mean what you say. The ability to express through your own means what you internally vision both clearly and powerfully. This can be through conversation via opinion and ideas, through art like music, dance, painting or acting and it can be through personality traits such as your behaviour, feelings or thoughts. It can also be through clothing so what you wear,  how you style your hair and how you give yourself permission to be you.. to be individual.

The term self expression via the Cambridge online dictionary says, “the expression of one's own personalityfeelings, etc, as in paintingpoetry, or other creative activity.

The online Urban Dictionary says, “Personal actions or habits intended to convey, or expose, emotional or intellectual conviction.”

The use of the word expose elicits feelings of vulnerability doesn’t it? Do you feel vulnerable when you self express? Or is it something you take pride in doing so that others know who you are and what you stand for?

When I’m coaching I’m often asked how does one find the courage to be themselves unashamedly and more importantly...How does one actually go about finding themselves.

Think about it, when we’re surrounded by environments and people that have shaped who we are today, it’s extremely challenging to wake up one morning and boldly question who you truly are. Why would you if you've never had any indication or clue that you could be someone else?

Well, you can be someone else, in fact you can be whoever you choose to be and from a base of knowing who you are.  

You know, from fear of how you’re perceived to exhausting people pleasing, we can spend our days living someone else's life if we remain blind to the fact that it’s time to stop being who we aren’t.

So, as a beautiful women entrepreneur encountering the fall out of other people’s fears and limited beliefs (as they attempt to limit you) how do you be who you are and express yourself like you mean it cocooned by courage, grace and joy?

What steps do you need to take when you realise you’re living in a very tight Lycra grip that’s squeezing the hell out of your true self expression and keeping you small and contained?

Is that you right now?

Well in this afternoon’s show, I’m going to offer you 2 steps to draw you closer to finding who you truly are.

Many of us worry about time. It's as though we're constantly wanting to beat a power that is totally out of our control. You can’t control time beautiful woman entrepreneur, you can only control your response to it though.

So for those of you who worry that things take too long when creating change, consider that for all the seconds you focus on time ticking away, time IS ticking away and ooh look, there it goes, just running past you because you're too darn busy obsessing about it.

Where your focus goes, your energy flows....

1.    Know Who You Aren't

So I bring up time because the first thing you should know about finding yourself... step number one, is that it’s impossible to find who you are without knowing who you aren’t. And yes, I did say that. Knowing who you aren’t. It that takes time. It’s a process that with every bit of awareness will bring you closer to you.

For example, I am not someone who enjoys excessive foul language. Words have power, so unless your foul words are so needed because there isn’t ANY other word in the English or other language that can express it adequately then you’ve lost me and it becomes quite a challenge to stay with you and fully appreciate what you’re wanting to express. Of course I take into consideration artistic license and using language for effect but outside of that I choose not to surround myself with those whose words are an advert for language apathy.

By becoming aware of this I stepped into my love of communication, of using language to make a difference to the lives of others, of using language to express myself. And here I am today talking to you.

Another example is my love of sunshine, heat and water. I really love them, independent of each other or together. I discovered this when I observed my energy and thoughts in cold, dark and dry environments. For example, during the winter months where we're couped up indoors with central heating, extra layers and little bright daylight. I’m a shell of myself both mentally and physically.

So, to combat this during the winter months, I take lots of hot soothing baths, jacuzzis, steams and I swim or just be in the pool. I have a Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) light box for those moments when it’s a challenge to focus and create and I go inside more in reflection... almost as though it offers me the warmth I’m seeking.

So, can you see, I would never have realised that part of who I am if I hadn’t taken the time to observe who I’m not.

So who aren’t you?

Take some time every day to focus on this in reflection. Make notes in whatever way serves you and give yourself a time frame slotting it into each day with ease.

2.    Ask yourself these five questions to gain more clarity on who you truly are.

       i.            Who or what would you be if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Who do you dream of being? What do you dream of being to others? Did you dream that when you were a child? Were you told it wasn’t possible? Do you believe that now?

     ii.            What’s your personal mission statement?

You have one for your business and that’s just a part of you. Why not create one for the whole of you. I expect it’s what you might do if you were at a speed dating event. You say who you are, describe yourself and share what’s important to you.

For example, mine is that I want to contribute to the lives of others that they may see and that they may believe in their own light and shine on purpose.

  iii.            What are your personal core values?

Your core values are the things that you believe are important in the way you lead your life. They give you a reference for what in your life is beneficial, desirable, constructive, good and important. They can change as you grow however ask yourself what are they today?

When you know your core values, decision making is less challenging and priorities become more defined.

  iv.            What makes you really happy?

Once you’ve determined your core values, this question becomes easier to answer. For example, if family is a core value and you’re offered a job travelling 90% of the year, will you be happy being away from your family so much? Mmmm. Going back to the question. What made you happy as a child? Is it the same today? Are you doing it now?

     v.            If money were no object, how would you live your life differently?

We often use money as the reason we don’t do something however this question isn’t really about money. It's about unleashing the restraints we subconsciously put on ourselves, the limitations. It’s about thinking outside those limits and honouring our aspirations and desires. A bit like the first question I invited you to ponder on, “Who would you be if you knew you couldn’t fail?”

So knowing who you aren't and reflecting on the ‘get to know you’ questions is the first step to understanding how you can truly fully express yourself. You’re on a date with you! Would you date you now before answering the questions? What about after?

Do you get it now? You can’t truly express fully who you are, until you've explored you, your desires, your wants, your musts, your needs, your energy, your flow. Only then can you step into a space/a room unashamedly confident, knowing where you’ll choose to give your energy and time, knowing what you’ll choose to receive as nourishment from those around you and knowing whether you should even be there at all. As others see you shine ever so brightly and on purpose they’ll learn to shine too.... eventually..... if they choose.

During this coming week, see how you can act on what I’ve offered throughout the show. Next week with that grounding and awareness you'll have, I’ll be giving you insight into ways that you can become more fully self expressed as a beautiful woman entrepreneur.

I’m Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs and that’s it for today on Mind Your Business as we explore Self Expression.

Sending out much gratitude to you all as MYB listeners, otherwise I’d just be sitting here talking to myself on a mic. Thank you.

Please catch past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Until next week....


show 8

27 APRIL 2018

TIME MANAGEMENT

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

During the month of April I’m talking about Time Management and if you’re a regular listener, you’ll know that from the second week of the month I have a guest joining me in the studio.

This is our last week for Time Management and to seal it today’s guest took her passion of yoga into the realm of service and now owns and manages Union Station Yoga based in Battersea, London.

Union Station Yoga’s mission is to create a space for you to slow down from the fast pace of city life and to re-connect to you and to your community.

Here’s some of the experiences that it’s members have had since visiting the studios.

A PERFECT PLACE TO RELAX AND TO TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. FROM THE MOMENT YOU ENTER, YOU FEEL THE CARE, THE POSITIVE VIBES AND THAT YOU ARE AMONG ANGELS. CAN’T RECOMMEND THIS STUDIO AND IT’S TEACHERS MORE. NUTRITION FOR THE SOUL TO COME HERE. MAGIC!
— Review from Union Station Yoga Website
BEST YOGA STUDIO I HAVE BEEN TO IN LONDON. HONESTLY!
— Review from Union Station Yoga Website
THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING YOGA STUDIO, SUPER LOVELY PEOPLE, REALLY FANTASTIC TEACHERS AND GREAT RANGE OF CLASSES. MASSIVELY IN LOVE WITH THIS PLACE! FILLED WITH FEEL GREAT FACTOR FOR MIND, BODY AND SOUL!”
— Review from Union Station Yoga Website

 

Please welcome Paula Le Dao.

How does it feel to hear such raving reviews about what was once a dream, a vision and is now your reality?

Questions

Tell us about how the seed for Union Station Yoga was planted. [Listen to show for responses]

Let's go to a break and when we come back I’ll be sharing with you..... and checking back in with Paula about how she manages her time at Union Station Yoga.

Welcome back to Mind Your Business with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

Here at Wandsworth Radio this week we have a giveaway until Sat 28 April 2018.

Tickets Giveaway Blurb.....

Over the past couple of weeks on Mind Your Business, I’ve been sharing with you how to create your own Morning Ritual. If you missed it or would like to catch it again then simply visit embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk.

A Morning Ritual is an amazing way to start your day so that the rest of the day evolves efficiently, productively and well managed in time. Remember that a ritual is a consistent action, gesture or word usually performed sequentially for a desired outcome. It takes time to develop a Morning Ritual that truly serves you. Be kind to yourself as you learn what works and what doesn’t. Be flexible, know that sometimes you’ll need to sacrifice to make the ritual a part of that day because things change.

Also remember that a morning ritual does not have to be in the actual morning. It's whenever your morning is. By creating and incorporating such a grounding activity at the beginning of your day, you not only improve the quality of your own life but the quality of the lives of those around you.

Implementing these things will change you, your actions and reactions plus the impact you have on others because you’ll be conscious and in tune with your emotions and thoughts. Conscious living. Most of us walk around like the walking dead and then wonder why we experience certain outcomes that don’t serve us. By having and practicing a Morning Ritual, you are in control and you decide the outcomes of your actions. You’ll be happier and more energetic; your productivity will skyrocket; your relationships will be healthier and stronger; you will be more motivated and inspired to do more; your financial life will improve; you'll be better and you'll do better.

All because of the way you started your day. 

Do you have a morning ritual Paula? If so, would you be up for sharing it?  [Listen to show for responses]

So, this week I’d like to bring to light to the lack of clarity around what tasks are urgent and what tasks are important.

What’s the difference? I hear you ask...

Urgent Tasks

Urgent tasks demand your immediate attention however whether you actually give the task your attention may or may not matter.

Let me give you an example. Answering the telephone. It’s pretty urgent because otherwise you won’t know who called you and what they wanted. Lets say you chose to answer the phone and it’s an automated service telling you you’re eligible for compensation. The urgency you placed on answering the call has now just disappeared upon immediately taking action to answer the phone. There’s now nothing to action from what you initially classed as something needing your immediate attention.

Important Tasks

Important tasks matter and not doing them could have consequences on you or those around you/involved in the task.

For example, we're told that regularly visiting the dentist is important and if not actioned could result in tooth decay, toothache and other painful teeth related consequences. If you leave it too long before visiting the dentist, it could become urgent because you’ll get toothache. The consequence of not actioning an important task.

Now, doing things like watching videos and reading posts on social media are certainly neither urgent nor important and if you find yourself being distracted by these pointless and fruitless tasks each day, I’ll be writing a blog on how to minimise the risk of distractions so that you can manage your time with focus and power.

Paula, do you have your own way to determine what's urgent and what's important?  [Listen to show for responses]

In my first Time Management show at the beginning of April, I talked about one of my favourite tools to assist me in managing my time... the Priority Matrix.

I explained it using the variables impact and effort e.g. how much effort are we using to gain maximum impact on any given task to determine taking action on that task.

Let’s replace those variables and use variables urgent and important instead to assist us in determining what we should be focussing on.

Read more and see the Priority Matirx diagram at: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/time-management.html

Once you grasp the full benefits of understanding the difference between urgent vs important and shift your actions accordingly, you’ll be on your way to positively prioritising your business day whether you’re working from home or an office.

Paula, how do you manage your time in relation to urgent and important tasks?  [Listen to show for responses]

As we close the month of Time Management, I’d like to offer you a few more tips for optimising your time each day.

I’ve put together 3 tips that can assist you to stay on top of positively managing your time.

1.    Tidiness

Having a clear space can really assist with clear thinking plus it makes us feel good when we clear up.

Consider three things:

·       What will you keep? i.e. filing or taking action

·       What will you delegate or give away? ie what can you pass on to someone else to action or to take over? Ie project or old laptop

·       What will you dispose of? Ie what’s no longer of value/use to you or someone else?

Paula, are you comfortable with delegation?  [Listen to show for responses]

2.    Your best time

When is your best time for a particular task ie meetings in afternoons or mornings? Meaty stuff early morning? Filing late eve?

3.    Multi Tasking

I know you think you can do it however the brain can only properly focus on one thing at a time and it takes a while to refocus when we shift to something else. You ever been asked to stop doing whatever you’re doing when someone is talking to you? Apart from being highly rude, there’s no way you can be present with that person AND focus on what your reading or doing. The same goes for your daily tasks.

So I would invite you to consider no more multitasking. If you really must continue to do so though, why not do these two things instead:

·       Group tasks together

·       Do similar tasks consecutively

Paula, How do you get things done as you manage Union Station Yoga?  [Listen to show for responses]

Can you detach from your ideas as they evolve?  [Listen to show for responses]

So that's it for another Friday with Mind Your Business. Thank you to Paula for Union Station Yoga in Battersea, London. How can my listeners get in touch with you?

www.unionstationyoga.co.uk

If you’d like to review the show notes then look no further than www.embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk. Please don’t hesitate to share the shows with friends, family and colleagues you believe will benefit from its content.

Join embodiedentrepreneur on Mixcloud to receive an immediate update of edited shows as soon as they're posted or you can visit www.embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk anytime to catch them. The unedited show will be on my Facebook page @embodiedentrepreneur within the hour today.

I wish you a joyous week beautiful woman entrepreneur filled with much opportunity to shine brightly and to live your life on purpose and like you mean it.

Please catch past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Until next week when it’s May and Mind Your Business will have a brand new theme and more guests throughout the month.


show 7

20 APRIL 2018

TIME MANAGEMENT

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

During the month of April I’m talking about Time Management and if you’re a regular listener, you’ll know that from the second week of the month I have a guest joining me in the studio.

Today’s guest is a real visionary I think. To have a desire to contribute towards our planet, make a business from that ethical stance and over olfactory pleasure in the form of a candle can’t have been easy. But that’s what Nicole, creator and owner of Wax and Wick did. And I do believe there were a few nay sayers along the way.

I’d like you all to meet Nicole Hansen.

Tell me about your journey and Wax and Wick Workshop. Why?

We’ll find out more about Nicole and how she manages her time in a few moments but first let’s get back to the theme of time management.

We determined last week that we manage our time to maximise our productivity in any given day so that we can do as much of what we enjoy doing as often as possible.

Today we're going to continue the idea of creating a Morning Ritual that we started exploring last Friday. Last week I left you with the 5 considerations when creating a Morning Ritual.

They were:

1.    You want it to wake you up so that you feel alert

2.    It must soothe your soul, nourish you, connect you with your emotions

3.    It should feed your intellectual state and stimulate your mind

4.    It should support increasing your life span ie exercise and relaxation

5.    It should inspire you, support your purpose and reason for being ie bring you closer to your long term goals

Today we'll add some flesh to the bones and I’ll offer you some suggestions to fill each of those considerations. Take them or leave them. Do your own research or add something that you’re presently doing. This is YOUR morning ritual.

10 ideas to assist with the process of creating a morning ritual.

1.     Get up earlier

Did you notice I didn’t suggest getting up early? Who am I to tell you when you rise from slumber. I don’t know your daily schedule, commitments, timings. But you do. So how could you surface just 15 minutes earlier when you’re experimenting with this. How could it go to 30 minutes earlier, then 45 minutes earlier until reaches an hour earlier. Its important to gently does it for adjustment purposes otherwise you’ll only remember the trauma you experienced rather than the reward. Like jumping into an icy cold shower without first starting warm and slowly reducing the temperature.

2.     Drink water after up to 8 hours of dehydration 

Try some warm water with lemon to flush out your toxins and kick start your metabolism. Recommended about half a litre which is equivalent to about 2 average sized drinking glasses.

3.     Do something that you can do no matter what type of day you’ve had 

So make your bed or lay the kitchen table for breakfast.

4.     Partake in physical activity

Take the stairs, try a group activity or simply go for a walk.

5.     Take quiet time

Reflect, plan your day and it’s objectives, check in with your emotions, consider who you can help, be grateful by noticing what or who is in your life, visualise your objectives and come back to the ‘Why’ of it all.

6.     Set Priorities For The Day

Set priorities for the day. My research on this subject has found that it’s actually really challenging to fulfil more that 3 meaty tasks each day. So with this in mind, set up to 3 large tasks/activities on any given day and take the time to determine their importance for execution.

7.      Read Books

How are you with reading? Enjoy it? Well what about taking some time in your morning to nourish your mind and soul. Let this action release your creativity and imagination as well as inspire and motivate you professionally.

8.     Learn Something New

Talking of nourishing, how about leading something new? This can take the form of podcasts, videos, books, magazines. Whatever you choose it should offer you value not only for today but also for the future. Do you remember that we touched on the two types of habits that we should focus on? Habits that improve the quality of your present life and habits that improve the quality of your future life.

9.     Work On Your Long-term Goals

Focus on your long term goals. During your morning ritual, this could be a wonderful time during those first 3 productive hours since waking to focus on your highest leverage activities. Choose one and complete it before doing anything else.

10.    Have a ritual to close your ritual

So you could finish each daily ritual with a mantra, or a particular inspirational video, some audio perhaps, a poem or a particular book. Consistently doing this could cement your practice and signify it’s conclusion. Knowing you’ve completed the most important part of your day with a familiar inclusion will send the reward chemical dopamine surging through your brain therefore giving you a terrific boost to begin your day. Its done!! Let the day begin!!!

A Few Reminders

A ritual is a consistent action, gesture or word usually performed sequentially for a desired outcome. It takes time to develop a  Morning Ritual that truly serves you. Be kind to yourself as you learn what works and what doesn’t. Be flexible, know that sometimes you’ll need to sacrifice to make the ritual a part of that day because things change.

Remember that a morning ritual does not have to be in the actual morning. It's whenever your morning is. By creating and incorporating such a grounding activity at the beginning of your day, you not only improve the quality of your own life but the quality of the lives of those around you.

Implementing these things will change you, your actions and reactions plus the impact you have on others because you’ll be conscious and in tune with your emotions and thoughts. Conscious living. Most of us walk around like the walking dead and then wonder why we experience certain negative outcomes. By having and practicing a Morning Ritual, you are in control and you decide the outcomes of your actions. Implementing it will change you and some or all of the following will start to flow into your life:

·         You’ll be happier and more energetic.

·         Your productivity will skyrocket.

·         Your relationships will be healthier and stronger.

·         You will be more motivated and inspired to do more.

·         Your financial life will improve.

·         You will be better. And you will do better.

All because of the way you started your day. So what are you waiting for?

I’m Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs. I have the choice to live a meaningful life and so do you. If you're not already, what choices are you making to positively shift?

Could the Morning Ritual be your first choice today for tomorrow morning?

I wish you a joyous week beautiful woman entrepreneur filled with much opportunity to shine brightly and to live your life on purpose and like you mean it.

Catch the edited show and show notes at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and check out the previous shows there too. The unedited show will be on my Facebook page @embodiedentrepreneur within the hour today.

Please catch past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show.

Coming up is Ayesha Casely-Hayford with Afro Archives.

Until next week....


show 6

13 APRIL 2018

TIME MANAGEMENT

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

[Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm].

During the month of April I’m talking about Time Management and if you’re a regular listener, you’ll know that from the second week of the month I have a guest joining me in the studio.

Today’s guest is an operapreneur, oh yes! We’re playing on words this week. She is a rich, velvet toned opera singer who loves to champion female-centric new works and is working on her vision of directing, producing and performing in a strongly female Baroque work plus developing two one-woman shows – one of which, Mezzo sings the Bard is part of Wandsworth Arts Fringe 2018 4 -20 May. Not only that my guest is also a voiceover artist and an educator.

Aha I think you warrant calling yourself an operapreneur. Please meet Grainne Gillis.

We’ll find out more about Grainne in a few moments but first let’s get back to time management.

We manage time to maximise our productivity in any given day so that we can do as much of what we enjoy doing as possible. I don’t know about you but I want as many minutes out of every day to be about happiness, success and love. You’ll have your own values but I think you get my drift. If you’re not doing something that nourishes you, then why are you doing it?

So getting to grips with time management gives us the opportunity to really map out how we can best use our energy and where to send it to receive the best results.

Which brings me onto a practice that is the axis of my day. It’s from where everything else hangs. I’m talking about my morning ritual. Do you have a morning ritual. One that prepares you for the day ahead? Well this afternoon we’re going to design one as a template for you to draw from.

How to Create a Morning Ritual

Why?

Have you noticed how when you do something for the first time, the effort and energy expended is way more the first few times than when you get further on down the line? Then you find the shortcuts that get you the same results in a fraction of the time and it all becomes smoother, swifter and most importantly for the brain...efficient.

Do you remember in our procrastination month we established that the part of the brain towards the back where we function for survival and function on autopilot and default (basal ganglia) has a main objective of achieving the Motivational Triad – no pain, all pleasure and pure efficiency.

To be efficient we need to do something time and time again for the brain to decide that its way too inefficient and needs to be imprinted to reduce the effort and time. It then becomes stored as a habit in the basal ganglia and that habit soothes the need for efficiency and autopilot begins when we execute that action.

Habits can be negative to us ie consistent excess of something even consistent lack something such as food or excess drinking, smoking, drugs. You should really be focussing on 2 types of habits:

1.     Habits that improve your quality of life in the present

2.     Habits that improve your quality of life in the future

So, habits can also be positive and that’s our focus today.

Trying to make significant changes in your life will be difficult.

But if you manage to delay gratification, and establish the desired habit, your life will grow exponentially.

The Marshmallow Experiment

The Stanford marshmallow experiment was a series of studies on delayed gratification in the late 1960s and early 1970s led by psychologist Walter Mischel, then a professor at Stanford University.

In these studies, a child was offered a choice between one small reward provided immediately or two small rewards (i.e., a larger later reward) if they waited for a short period, approximately 15 minutes, during which the tester left the room and then returned. (The reward was sometimes a marshmallow, but often a cookie or a pretzel.)

In follow-up studies (10 years later), the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment, body mass index (BMI), and other life measures.

Trying to make significant changes in your life will be difficult.

But if you manage to delay gratification, and establish the desired habit, your life will grow exponentially.

The way you can achieve that is to focus on the present moment and try to enjoy every single thing you do.

What is a ritual?

Rituals are consistent actions, gestures, words usually performed sequentially for a desired outcome. So, for example in Hinduism a puja is a ritual performed when honouring deities or guests or to spiritually celebrate an event. As a Senior Yoga Teacher I resonate closely with this as it’s very much a part of the celebration of yoga and a beautiful experience. Perhaps you can think of a ritual that you grew up with or one that you’ve observed on your life journey.

Having a ritual, a series of actions, gestures and/or words first thing in the morning is a very powerful way to start your day and create absolute productivity and time efficiency therefore managing your time.

Let’s dive in and create a template.

Creating a Morning Ritual Template

We’re all very different and so I thought that rather than tell you what you should or shouldn’t to in your mornings, it would be more gracious to explore a template that you can fit your preferences into. You'll have examples to get the creative juices going however it will be bespoke to you.

When considering your morning ritual, you should have outcomes in mind. Remember, this is a strategic activity that needs to be planned well so that you don’t waste time whilst doing it with ineffective results. Otherwise, why do it?

Consider these 5 outcomes.

1.     You want it to wake you up so that you feel alert

2.     It must soothe your soul, nourish you, connect you with your emotions

3.     It should feed your intellectual state and stimulate your mind

4.     It should support increasing your life span ie exercise and relaxation

5.     It should inspire you, support your purpose and reason for being ie bring you closer to your long term goals

So there’s your template. Now only you can fill in the gaps to make it your ritual and often if we’ve never even thought about creating a morning ritual before we can find ourselves procrastinating with the fear of how to get started.

Next week, I'll share some ideas with you to assist with that process.

Thank you to Grainne for her vibrant contribution to the show.

I’m Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs. I wish you a joyous week filled with much opportunity to shine brightly and to live life like you mean it.

Please catch past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show.

Until next week.....


show 5

6 APRIL 2018

TIME MANAGEMENT

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs.

Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm.

Well this is a brand new month and so that means a brand new theme. During this month of April, I’ll be talking all about Time Management and I’m going to jump right in.

When you bring the words time management to mind, what do you think of? The clues are in the words really, aren’t they?

When we talk about time management according to a website called MindTools.com, we're talking about organising and planning how much time we're going to allocate to a specific task.

I bet you’ve experienced the fall out of when you didn’t meet a deadline or failed to put one task above another.

If so, then you’ll already know why you need to master good time management. If not, let me share with you the benefits of efficiently managing your time.

Benefits of Good Time Management

·        Greater productivity and efficiency.

·        A better professional reputation.

·        Less stress.

·        Increased opportunities for advancement.

·        Greater opportunities to achieve important life and career goals.

·        Failing to manage your time effectively can have some very undesirable consequences: missed deadlines, inefficient work flow, poor work quality, a poor professional reputation and a stalled career, higher stress levels.

So you can see that if we fail to plan then we plan fail.

Prioritising

Understanding when and being able to determine when something's a priority is a great place to start.

Let’s first understand the difference between a priory and something of importance.

A task that’s important isn't necessarily a priority and a priority can be important too. So how do you prioritise because prioritising is one of the most efficient ways to use your time. Not only does it mean you get things done but your health benefits too. You get reduced stress levels, space to think and do other things plus the opportunity to focus your energy and attention on the things that matter to you therefore improving your lifestyle.

In today’s show, I’m going to choose to manage the time with a really easy and fluid feel. I’ll play lots of joyful music and share some knowledge and offer useful tools for incorporating efficiency into your daily working life. Sit tight beautiful woman entrepreneur.

So how do you prioritise because prioritising is one of the most efficient ways to use your time. When we prioritise, we tend to do so for three main reasons:

1.     Financial rewards

2.    Time constraints

3.    Someone else on your back

How do you make the decision to prioritise if everything on your task list needs doing yesterday?

Here’s a couple of tools you can implement if you find yourself in that situation.

Paired Comparison Analysis

This is simply where you compare each item on your list with all the others there and deciding which out of each two is the most important.

Action Priority Matrix

This is one of my favourite because it’s extremely effective and allows you to evaluate the task value vs the energy expended. You get the chance to strategically drop the tasks that take up a lot of your time and bring little reward. https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_95.htm

It takes practice to use this tool but once you’ve mastered it, it can save you bags of valuable I’m in the future.

How to use the Action Priority Matrix

·        List the major activities

·        Score on impact (0 = nine, 10 = maximum) and effort (0 = none, 10 = major effort)

·        Plot on graph based on scores

·        Take action to prioritise, delegate or drop

This tool can also be used for urgent vs important so you an change impact vs  effort to urgent vs important. What’s the difference between urgent and important? I'll tell you next week plus how to create an Action Programme which is one step along from your ‘to-do' list. https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_83.htm

13 Steps to improve your time management skills

1.     Create a schedule allocating at least 2 hours

2.     Make that time an experience ie cup of tea, music, food treats,  whatever rocks your boat

3.     Before you begin, take a minute to tap into your driver – What’s the bigger picture? Let this picture drive you and remind you what the planning all about

4.     Then take a minute to celebrate your wins in the previous week and list at least 10 of them

5.     What did you learn from the last week – about yourselves and your experience

6.     Highlight what didn’t work out. Determine why? What could you have done to get a more positive outcome? What would you do next time?

7.     Now let’s focus on the future. Pick 7 outcomes for the week ahead.  How do you want to end your week and what do you want to have achieved? Doesn’t all have to be business related

8.     So now it’s time to schedule.  You need to allocate time to each task because we tend to underestimate how long things will take. So assign an actual time to the things that matter and need actioning. Spread the outcomes throughout the week and then decide on the core tasks to get you there. It’s really easy to do many little superficial tasks each day however its more challenging to do lots of meaningful tasks. We can truthfully only really complete 1-3 meaningful tasks per day.

9.     Pick up to 3 ‘must dos’ MDs and schedule them throughout the week. Where do calls and meetings fit into this? Don’t forget to add them.

10.    Now add to your calendar as if booking a meeting with yourself

11.     What’s left to do? Can you fit it in somewhere? If not, leave it out

12.    Take a minute to focus on others by asking who you can assist this week

13.    Is there someone who can assist you?

A Few Considerations

·        Avoid hijacking every second of the day with a task. Give yourself space to breathe and buffer

·        Remember that it's ok to overspill tasks into next week. It’s not always possible to complete everything

·        Give your procrastination tendency a break by putting priority tasks first

·        So often we'll say that there aren’t enough hours in the day. Not true. With careful planning and flexibility like bamboo you CAN action the things that matter most to you.

So that’s it for today and I want t to thank you for tuning in and being open to how you can be more efficient with your time. Your time's valuable and life is fragile so it’s a real priority to ensure that every second is used exactly how you want to use it.

I truly believe that if my actions are not giving me either joy, love, purpose or/and appreciation then I shouldn’t be doing them. I have the choice to live a meaningful life and so do you too. If you're not already, what choices are you making to positively shift?

I’m Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to Women Entrepreneurs. I wish you a joyous week filled with much opportunity to shine brightly and to live life  like you mean it.

Catch the edited show from Monday at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and check out the previous shows there too.

Please catch past shows also on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show.

Until next week.....


show 4

23 march 2018

procrastination

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to women entrepreneurs.

Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm and don’t forget that Ayesha Casely-Hayford will be on at 3pm with Afro Archives.

Today in the studio I have joining us the first colour ownly salon owner in the UK Skyler McDonald from Skyler London.

We’ll find out all about Skyler, how she created her vision and what her experience of procrastination is a little later. Hello Skyler….

So it’s the last of the procrastination series and I’d like to finish the series with a brief summary of what we’ve covered over the past 3 weeks and end the show with some procrastination exercises for you to take away with you and implement daily.

What You Need To Know About Procrastination

The brain has different sections that individually contribute to the sum of our everyday functioning. Our prefrontal cortex is one of them and is the most recently evolved part of the brain. It can be found at the front of the brain.

Now, this is going to be your weapon against procrastination. It will override the Motivational Triad of pleasure, no pain and efficiency because it’s responsible for complex planning, decision making, focusing and organising your attention, moderating social behaviour, personality expression and regulating your ability for attention or distraction. Interestingly enough, it doesn’t actually fully develop until you’re around 25 years old and it's basic activity is considered to be putting thoughts and actions together that relate to our internal goals. Do you recall knowing exactly what you wanted to do in your late teens and early twenties? No, me neither. Now I understand why.

So you have a fully functioning ‘over-rider’ that, if you learn to use effectively could be the armour you need to combat procrastination and set you up for your absolute success. How powerful is that?

Fear

Did you know that there are 50 different types of fear that may cause you to procrastinate? Fear of intimacy, fear of death, fear of flying, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of public speaking, fear of the dark, fear of commitment... and the list goes on.

 When you're fearful, you activate your survival instincts causing a response of fight, flight or freeze. This results in your sympathetic nervous system taking centre stage to protect you. Hormones are released that heighten your senses and keep you alert and alive however these days your dangers are very different to the dangers of yester year where a delayed reaction could have meant death.

Today’s everyday fears are more related to losing a client or disputes within relationships of high emotional value rather than survival but the brain doesn't differentiate between the two. It just recognises fear and responds accordingly. When you continue to focus on why you DON'T want to take action you activate the fear/stress circuit especially when you start to focus on what will happen if you do take action ie the humiliation, disappointment, shame etc. Remember, what you focus on becomes your reality.

Now you’re in survival mode and fight, flight, or freeze responses are on full alert. Most of you will become paralysed by procrastination and flee away from the task at hand for fear of failure.

So when you procrastinate and it results in no action, the actual fear of not achieving your vision is very small. In order to overcome procrastination you have to make the fear bigger. Ask yourself this, “What is the reward of TAKING ACTION that is greater than if I don’t take action?”

So if you don’t prepare for or make that speech for your upcoming meeting, you're going to be humiliated and seen as unprofessional. What’s greater? The humiliation/unprofessionalism or the thought of never fulfilling your true potential…of living small? If you’ve got lots of ideas, a big vision, a life to live then the second is definitely the answer. And the impact of that on your world will be far greater than a little humiliation which to be honest is something you decide to feel. Means you can decide not to feel it too.

So you choose to act and BAM! A dopamine hit. The chemical of reward makes you feel all amazing and capable. No drugs, no alcohol. Just your decision to take action.

And this is how you start to manage your mind by stepping away from fear and into action.

·        Breathe to step away from fear

·        Fix your focus

·        Take a small step

·        Have a small win

·        Create a string of small wins

·        Build stronger neural brain pathways/activate neural circuits

·        Show self that no matter what happened in the past, you CAN take ACTION now

Building Your Defence Armour

Here’s my 6 step guide.

1.     Decide on your intention/objective/outcome for what you’re planning

2.     Choose a realistic date for completion

3.     Write down the steps you need to take to create your vision

4.     Break these steps down into micro steps to action

5.     Brainstorm all the things that could go wrong by asking yourself, “What could prevent me from creating this vision?”  Find solutions by asking yourself, “What decisions do I need to make to assist me in resolving these obstacles?”

6.     Take action by implementing small steps!!!

Skyler Questions

How has procrastination affected your business creation? 

I am not really a procrastinator. I have a lot of things to work on and sometimes people get frustrated that I don’t work on their “important” thing right there and then. But for me its about working on what is important to me and what will effect my business. If I decide to do something or work on something – I just get on and do it.

What has been the biggest impact of this?

When we decided to develop the skylerlondon brand – it was a huge task ahead. It’s the first of its kind in the UK so there was no template to work from. So I just broke down what needed to be done into byte size chunks and just did them. 

Are you currently experiencing procrastination?

No – like most people – I would love an extra 24 hours a day that no one else has to do all the things I want – but I don’t just put things off because I am not sure what decision I want to make.

If not, does that mean you've whooped procrastination? 

I think it is a constant temptation. To not make a decision or delay making a decision. But to be honest I don’t have any difficulty in making decisions about what I want to do. I think delaying a decision often means thinking about it twice which is just wasting time.

Procrastination exercises

1.     Each night before you go to bed, write the 3 highest value, highest impact or highest earnings tasks to action the next day ideally before midday and determine the end goal. By doing this, you’ll start to walk your talk as a woman entrepreneur and set yourself apart from the many others who fall victim to the clutches of procrastination.

2.     Ask yourself, “What is the bigger reward for taking action?” You must have a strong reason for acting where the pain of not doing it is greater than doing it.

3.     Step away from fear. Activate the sympathetic nervous system by taking 6 deep 5 count breaths, in through nose and out through mouth.

4.     Activate the release of your feel good hormones. Hug someone or an animal to release oxytocin. Take action and see the reward to release dopamine. Sit in the sun, exercise, read something positive for happy thinking or eat typtophan-heavy foods like bananas or walnuts to release serotonin. Sniff vanilla or lavender, listen to music, laugh, exercise or eat 70%+ chocolate to induce endorphins.

5.     Take action with small positive steps that bring a win each time and do the most rewarding task first.

6.     When you feel procrastination kicking in repeat with conviction, “ACT NOW, ACT NOW, ACT NOW!”

7.     Visualise your task in hand as completed all the time and imagine how you’ll feel when it’s done. Tune in to the positive feelings and let that drive you to completion.

8.     If you’re making excuses as to why you procrastinate - STOP IT! Take ownership of your behaviour and refuse to accept or explain away unproductive behaviour anymore

9.     Reward yourself for the completion of the task and place mini rewards in between to acknowledge the small wins. Psychologists call this Operant Conditioning where you condition yourself to expect a specific consequence after performing a specific act. Rewards can be anything: going for a walk, a cup of tea, reading a magazine, a holiday, watching a movie, going out to dinner, shopping. Each reward will reinforce your ability to take action and direct your focus on to the pleasure you gain from the action, away from the task itself.

10.     Resolve to be invincible in the completion of your task. Make a promise with yourself that whatever gets in the way, it will not stop you from completing the task in hand. Act with urgency.

11.      When you create a plan, label each action according to importance. Brian Tracy uses the ABCDE method. Label important and urgent tasks A and always action these first. Remember that what’s important is not necessarily urgent and vice versa so start with either the time starved tasks, the big challenging tasks or do the worst first. B = tasks with mild consequences ie returning phone calls. C = nice to do, no consequence ie coffee/lunch with a friend, calling family/friends. D = delegate the task so that you get focus on the more important or urgent stuff. E = eliminate the tasks that make no difference to your vision. Each section can have subcategories ie A1, A2. Train yourself to start the day sustainably and work ahead of schedule.

12.        Follow the Swiss Cheese technique by putting holes in your plan bit by bit. Pick a portion of your plan and get to it and only that until completion. Each portion will build to the sum of the whole.

13.        Diarise the time for your task just like you would a meeting. Add it to your calendar and do not let it slide.

Next week, I’ll have Mirjam Schneider, Astrologer in the studio. Now Mirjam would really love to share with you the truth about astrology. She believes that it’s been misrepresented and so will be here to set the record straight once and for all about what astrology actually is and how it can be used to support your happiness in business and life. I’ll also have a live guest who will have a synopsis of their chart read out live on air. You’ll be able to see the power of astrology as it happens.

Thank you to Skyler and stay tuned for Ayesha Casely-Hayford who will be on at 3pm with Afro Archives. Don’t forget to check out Wandsworth Radio over the weekend and next week too. Just visit wandsworthradio.com.

You can listen to the edited show at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk where you’ll find all the March shows plus show notes.

Please catch past shows also on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show.

Next week's a Bank Holiday in London, so Mind your Business will be taking a break and will return on 6 April 2018.

Bye for now.....


show 3

16 march 2018

procrastination

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke, Master Coach to women entrepreneurs.

Thank you to Chloe Desave for She Speaks from 12-2pm and don’t forget that Ayesha Casely-Hayford will be on at 3pm with Afro Archives.

Today in the studio I have joining us a dynamic woman that takes no prisoners in her approach to life and business... and I love that! Lara Morgan, co-founder of Scentered is joining me today and we’ll be chatting all about Scentered and how procrastination doesn’t stand a chance in her world.

Oh and you should know that Scentered is reassuring portable therapy for those times as a woman entrepreneur when you just feel like a hug, a pick me up or relaxing. Wonderful balms and candles, all 100% natural which Lara will enlighten us about further a little on in the show.

In the meantime check out their website Scentered.me and stay tuned for a competition question to win a Survival Kit worth £50. There’s only two of them available to win.

So last week on Mind Your Business, we established that every time you allow fear to rule, you strip away another layer of self-esteem/self-image and you see yourself as someone who procrastinates and doesn’t take action. We determined that over time this diminishes self-image and becomes your default as you deepen the neural pathways in your brain. So how to you dig yourself out? One way is by taking small action steps and planning in advance. You’ll find yourself gliding into the present moment and heighten self-confidence, certainty and self-worth plus create new neural pathways, those well trodden grooves in the brain that create habitual thoughts and activate the neural circuits in the brain that cause you to want to take action. All just by taking a few small action steps.

So let’s recap briefly on those steps:

Stepping away from fear and into action

·         Breathe to step away from fear

·         Fix your focus

·         Take a small step

·         Have a small win

·         Create a string of small wins

·         Build stronger neural brain pathways/activate neural circuits

·         Show self that no matter what happened in the past, you CAN take ACTION now

So imagine arriving in this present moment, right here and right now already having dealt with all your preparations. Take a minute to really think about this. Imagine you've got a business meeting scheduled with a prospective client. Ahead of the day, you might plan the journey, check out the venue, mentally confirm your desired outcomes, think of all the possible objections and questions that may arise, write down what could go wrong and decipher solutions, consider the best deal you can presently offer them and remind yourself why you do what you do. So important, especially when you have a few pre-meeting nerves.

This pre-planning frees up your mind on the actual day so that you can explore your prospective client’s needs, serve them unequivocally with vibrant mental energy, powerful decision making capabilities and with minimal distraction.

I’m really eager to bring Lara in at this point to hear how she manages her mind and closes the door on procrastination.

So, let’s do that after this break.

Welcome back to Mind Your Business with me Nicolette on Wandsworth Radio. This month the theme is procrastination and Lara Morgan co-founder of Scentered joins me in the studio to share with you how she’s been so successful in business with minimal procrastination.

Welcome Lara, it’s a pleasure to have you with me this afternoon as a positive beacon of light for those women entrepreneurs out there today feeling a little jaded by putting things off. When you put things off, there’s an impact and it’s usually a cost in some way. But you don’t seem to be phased by procrastination.

How have you prevented procrastination from impacting your business?

It has not. I am not a procrastinator. I live and die by the actions I take, decision making expediency with hard work aligned to gut instinct and I live with getting stuff wrong but knowing I am always learning from the progress. Discovery of something not working is better than discovering nothing.

In my investments I have found poor, slow decision makers make for weak leaders and lots of headaches. I do not enjoy the agony of endless revisiting, mind changes and pointlessly repeated conversations nor the time and money this wastes. Now I have other sense checks when making an investment like people’s habits in this area as I cannot be bothered with procrastinators. Too painful.

Are you currently experiencing procrastination?

Yes. I never realised how important it was to have the courage of my own convictions and to have been taught it’s OK to fall – it’s how you get up that counts. It is why I employ energetic sporting people and we share and openly learn in the good culturally fast growth companies where trying just matters most.

If so, how do you see yourself overcoming it?

Building a culture and leading by example being unafraid to ask seemingly idiotic questions, always working hard to learn and grow?

I am a massive believer in pareto’s rule get stuff to market and the market will inform you of your issues/ Listen hard and change fast. Show people that you make mistakes too, celebrate and shares the lessons of past learnings, encourage others to share theirs = problems faster solved.

If not, does that mean you’ve whooped procrastination?

I get frustrated by procrastination and have noted this so now I am simply better at filtering those that I work with and those I enjoy spending time with. There is a direct correlation in my experience between profit and progressive fast decision making.

Earlier, I shared my tips for stepping away from fear into action using breath.

Do you get scared Lara? What’s you’re way of managing fear?

Lara has kindly offered a Survival Kit each to two listeners who answer the following question.

“What’s the name of the candle or balm that has the aromatherapy oils Oud,  Frankincense and Sandalwood in them?”

Go to the Scentered website to find the answer. When you have the answer,

1.     sign up to the Scentered newsletter the bottom of the homepage

2.     and go to either Scentered’s Facebook or Twitter page searching @iamscentered and tell us why this Survival Kit giveaway is so important to you right now and post the answer tagging @iamscentered. 

The 2x winners will be chosen at random. Entries close midnight March 18th.

Welcome back to Mind Your Business with me Nicolette on Wandsworth Radio. I’m sitting with Lara Morgan, co-founder of Scentered, portable therapy in the shape of balms and candles.

Let’s talk more about Scentered Lara. What’s the future vision for it moving forwards?

So I promised you even more tools to arm yourself against procrastination if what I’ve shared so far just isn’t enough.

Building Your Defence Armour

I asked you earlier whether you leave your tasks to the last minute before you action them? Procrastination will fool you into thinking that it’s a productive way of working but what it actually is, is you getting the job done but under pressure.

So what if we used this to our advantage? How could you create your own pressure, on your own terms with a result of getting the job done without the pressure, ahead of schedule and with the opportunity to wallow in the present moment when the time comes?

This is possible with this 6 step guide:

1.     Decide on your intention/objective/outcome for what you’re planning

2.     Choose a realistic date for completion

3.     Write down the steps you need to take to create your vision

4.     Break these steps down into micro steps to action

5.     Brainstorm all the things that could go wrong by asking yourself, “What could prevent me from creating this vision?”  Find solutions by asking yourself, “What decisions do I need to make to assist me in resolving these obstacles?”

6.     Take action by implementing small steps!!!

It’s really important that you set that deadline for completion. This is the pressure that you create on your terms and once you’ve achieved completion you acknowledge it by celebrating thus releasing the dopamine we talked about in the first show on the 2nd March. This satisfies the brain's need for approval – usually obtained from others. Rather than waiting for someone to congratulate you, why not simply congratulate yourself? This way you're not denying the brain its basic need and as a woman entrepreneur, who more often than not works alone without external approval, this internal acknowledgement will satisfy the brain and be a confirmation of action. Win-win!

I can’t stress enough the importance of being purposefully proactive. You must plan, execute and honour yourself and this means building a relationship of trust, love, confidence and action with yourself.

What do you think Lara?

Listen to the show for Lara's answer.

So that’s it for today.  We’ve determined that in order to beat procrastination we must breathe, take small steps of action, plan, troubleshoot and celebrate the small wins.

Remember to enter the competition to win an amazing Scentered Survival Kit. Answering the following question, “What’s the name of the candle or balm that has the aromatherapy oils Oud, Frankincense and Sandalwood?”

Go to the Scentered website to find the answer. When you have the answer,

1.     sign up to the Scentered newsletter the bottom of the homepage

2.     and go to either Scentered’s Facebook or Twitter page searching @iamscentered and tell us why this Survival Kit giveaway is so important to you right now and post the answer tagging @iamscentered. 

The 2x winners will be chosen at random. Entries close midnight March 18th. (The competiton is now closed so please do not enter however do visit Scentered.me and check out their wonderful balms and candles).

Next week, I’ll explain how procrastination is not all that bad If we search for the golden nuggets (there’s always a golden nugget) and I’ll have Skyler McDonald the founder of SkylerLondon, the first colour-only salon in the UK sharing her experiences of procrastination and it’s impact on her business (or not). The salon’s based in our very own Wandsworth.

Thank you to Lara from Scentered, and stay tuned for Ayesha Casely-Hayford who will be on at 3pm with Afro Archives.

Please catch past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur and Follow the show.

If you’re listening to a recording of this show, the competition is closed now however please do visit scentered.me to check out their amazing products.

Thank you.


show 2

9 march 2018

procrastination

Welcome back to another Mind Your Business Show on Wandsworth Radio with me Nicolette Wilson-Clarke,  Master Coach to women entrepreneurs.

Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12-2pm and don’t forget that Ayesha Casely-Hayford will be on at 3pm with Afro Archives.

Today in the studio I have joining us the amazing local to Wandsworth women entrepreneur Jenny Voyce. Jenny is the Founder of Well Grounded Company since Apr 2015 and we'll find our much more about her, her business and her approach to procrastination a little later on in the show. Say Hi Jenny.

In the month of March, we’re talking about the impact of procrastination on our ability to take action and develop our business and life visions.

Last week we uncovered that the brain has a default – The Motivational Triad. Left to its own devices the brain will always seek pleasure, avoid pleasure and act efficiently. That’s why we procrastinate because it’s a really efficient way to be without pain and with much pleasure... doing nothing.

Granted we have the internal turmoil of knowing something needs to be done but that’s due to the instinctive, primal brain that has the default Motivational Triad vs the newer part of the brain called the pre frontal cortex. So last week we learnt that the prefrontal cortex is our armour for overcoming procrastination because it loves to plan, schedule, make decisions, focus and organise our attention amongst other things and when given the opportunity to do so it absolutely thrives.

As a woman entrepreneur, you're all about taking ACTION and so the prefrontal cortex is your fully functioning ‘over-rider' that arms you for it.

We also learnt that the other thing that might cause procrastination is fear. Do you remember that we talked about there being at least 50 different fears that might prevent you from taking action? Fear of being noticed, fear of success, fear of humiliation, fear of failure, fear of commitment and so on. Well we determined that in order to overcome that, we need to focus on the reward of taking action rather than the fear of not and that by breathing slowing and consciously in through the nose and out through the mouth we can heighten the calmer side of our nervous system and feel more in control to move forwards without the drama. Oh the drama!

If you missed my show last week or would like to listen again, just visit embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and you can either download it or listen straight from the site.

So this week, having established that we can overcome procrastination by thinking from the front part of our brain therefore taking action, I’m going to share with you 6 simple steps to move you away from procrastination.

But before we do that, let’s me our special guest woman entrepreneur joint me in the studio this afternoon... Jenny Voyce.

Interview with Jenny Voyce

Jenny has previously worked for Liberty, Southbank Centre, Debenhams and Hobbs amongst others in buying and merchandising and now as a mother of two, a wife with 2 dogs to care for is the  Founder of Well Grounded Company since Apr 2015.

What is Well Grounded Company Jenny? (children’s wear startup)

Having worked for online start-ups I decided to develop my own and saw a gap in the market for Childrenswear.  I work with artist to develop the prints and patterns and I develop the clothing and do pretty much everything else.

So let’s talk procrastination.

How has procrastination affected business creation?
Procrastination didn't really affect the creation of the business. Once I had an idea and a plan I really went for it. Full steam ahead. I'd come out of working with start ups and that confidence had rubbed off on me.

What has been the biggest impact?
It's those periods of self doubt where procrastination has affected. Once you've created a business and its there and its real procrastination comes in because you begin to doubt decisions. Once you've made one mistake you micro manage other decisions- which leads to procrastinating. It's hard not having a business partner to bounce off and to set the targets for the day week month. And the advantage of working for someone else is that your driven by either targets or goals that are set or other people are dependent on what you're doing. Take that away and its easier for it to set in

Are you currently experiencing procrastination?
Yes. It's a constant battle. Emails queued up ready to press send but the fear of a negative come back is a real problem!

Tools for stepping away from fear and into action

  • Breathe to step away from fear
  • Fix your focus on what you’ll gain from taking action
  • Take a small step
  • Have a small win. Celebrate.
  • Create a string of small wins
  • Build stronger neural brain pathways/activate neural circuits
  • Show self that no matter what happened in the past, you CAN take ACTION now

How do you overcome it?
Well I get to a point of " if you don't try you'll never know'  There's no point in second guessing a situation. You have to go back to what made you think you could start it in the first place. Return to that first point of confidence. Bring that back and press send.

I don't think I'll ever get procrastination whooped. As a mother I'm juggling all sorts - there always a part of life where a little procrastination creeps in to a decision. You put it off because you're dealing with something else. You don't want to give it the mental time to think it through!

How do you keep the faith?

6 simple steps to move you away from procrastination

Step 1

  • Set goals or intentions that you are absolutely passionate about.  Make it something that you completely desire to achieve because by doing so you create motivators  - that thing that moves you closer towards working efficiently to complete all your tasks to achieve your goal in a short space of time. It’s called the Law of Forced Efficiency.

Step 2

  • Throughout your implementation, visualise the task as completed at all times. See your emotional response to finishing the task. Notice how satisfied you are. The more positive emotions and pleasure these visuals give you, the more motivated you’ll b  complete them.

Step 3

  • When you feel yourself losing focus and motivation, chant to yourself, “do it now!”, “do it now!”, “do it now!” . Begin each task with this as well and create a sense of urgency about it’s completion. Any shift in negative mental habits can be shifted through repeated suggestions in the form of affirmations and mental pictures from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind. Overtime with consistency, your subconscious mind will accept the new command as part of the new operating system.  Before you know it, you'll find yourself acting on tasks in the same way you brush your teeth...without thinking.

Step 4

  • Set a deadline. Tell others to add to your power of achieving. This programmes the subconscious mind to override your desire to procrastinate and invokes a sense of conviction to get the job done.

Step 5

  • Create a reward system for the completion of the whole task AND for completion of the micro tasks. Psychologists call this Operant Conditioning, where you are conditioned to expect a specific consequence after performing a specific act. So simple rewards could be gong for a walk, a cup of tea, reading a magazine, watching a programme, ringing a friend to the bigger rewards like booking a holiday after a hefty project creation. Each time you reward yourself, you reinforce your ability to get the job done and will be focused completely on the pleasure received upon completion.

Step 6

  • Accept full responsibility for the completion of the task in hand on schedule. Resolve to find a way around anything that gets in your way. Be unstoppable! Be unstoppable! Be unstoppable! Refuse excuses for the lack of completion and eliminate all opportunities to procrastinate!

Next week I’ll be chatting with the Co Founder of Scentered Lara Morgan about her experience of procrastination and sharing with you a few exercises that you can do to assist you in moving even further away from procrastination.

The show notes and audio for this show can be found at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk and catch past shows on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur. Why not Follow the show.

If you’d like to have a chat with me about how procrastination is preventing you from building your vision or any other hindrences simply go to my website embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk. I’m giving away a complimentary mini session to the first 5 women who contact me in the month of March.

I always love to hear from you and I'd LOVE to know what you think of today’s show so do tell me! Just go to my website and contact me.

Hear from you soon and set your calendar for next Friday at 2pm. Have a powerful week beautiful women entrepreneurs.


show 1

2 march 2018

procrastination

Welcome to the first of my brand new radio shows by a women entrepreneur for women entrepreneurs as part #FemaleFriday. Thank you to Chloe for She Speaks from 12 -2pm. After me will be Ayesha Casely-hayford with Afro Archives.

I’m Nicolette Wilson-Clarke and I manage my own Master Coaching business Embodied Entrepreneur where I assist women entrepreneurs to stay focused, powerful and balanced in mind and body so they can soar high in their business everyday.

What does that mean? In a nutshell.... mind management. You have business management where you create strategies to build your business to success. You have money management where you look after your pennies to grow your pounds. You have body management where you pay attention to what you’re putting into your body to physically function optimally.

Well the Mind Your Business Show is all about mind management where you deliberately pay close attention to the inner workings of the mind resulting in a healthy, strong, positive, action producing mind that serves you in spite of any challenges you experience.

“Get out of your head! It’s a dangerous place?”

So this radio show is for all you women entrepreneurs out there who find yourselves battling with limited beliefs about you and your capabilities. It’s for you if your daily dialogue is, “I can't, it’s not possible, what if it doesn’t succeed, she/he’s doing better than me, I'll look silly, why am I so rubbish, it’ll never work, I wish I was...fill in the blank!” And if you’re a woman entrepreneur whose building her business and rarely finds herself doubting her abilities, then this show is also for you. It's for those times when you really push the boundaries and question your capabilities. Sound familiar?

I created Mind Your Business to be a space where women entrepreneurs realise that they're not alone in their daily challenges of running a business, of batting away the nay sayers and of frenetically navigating through life. I want you to know that there are solutions being implemented every day by fellow women entrepreneurs which result in positive outcomes because of conscious mind management. This show is about the woman rather than the business and I’m here to remind you just how darn amazing you truly are. Cos we forget sometimes...

During our time together we'll uncover the ‘why’ of your behaviour and focus on the ‘how’ of your solutions.

You know those questions, “Why can’t I take action? How do I get started? Why am I so afraid? Why do I care so much about what others think? Should I really be doing this? How do I develop courage? How do I live MY life?”

Oh man, I am so excited to support your journey towards your very best self!

So let me share how this will work. Each month Mind Your Business will have a theme that will inform each show. So this month, March we'll be addressing the snatcher of our dreams...procrastination starting from today.  I’ll explain what procrastination is, why we do it and offer you tools and high value solutions to annihilate its ability to shut you down.

For the rest of the month, I’ll have fellow women entrepreneurs as guests live in the studio sharing their business and life experiences, successes and learning curves. They'll remind you that if you have a vision that involves creating a business that serves others, serves you and makes a difference to the world then in the words of the charismatic Les Brown, “IT IS POSSIBLE!”

So let’s start off defining what an entrepreneur is.

A person who sets up a business or businesses, taking on financial risks in the hope of profit.” Online dictionary

the process of designing, launching and running a new business, which is often initially a small business. The people who create these businesses are called entrepreneurs. An owner or manager of a business enterprise who makes money through risk and initiative". Wikipedia

In both of these definitions we see the word ‘risk’ repeated. Well what does risk mean?

“...the potential of gaining or losing something of value....the intentional interaction with uncertainty.” Wikipedia

There are many definitions of the word ‘entrepreneur’ so do take a minute to check them out yourself but one common theme that runs through the ones that I found is that to be an entrepreneur, you've got to have balls... metaphorically speaking for us women.

‘Risk’, ‘Initiative’, ‘Intentional interaction with uncertainty’. Woh!! That’s super hero stuff! That’s not your average Jo action.

And that. Is. You beautiful woman entrepreneur (WE).

So from the get go of this show, you need to know how seriously amazing and ballsy you are for either wanting to set up a business or for being in the business now and for stepping into the unknown everyday. Start to see yourself as a powerful female action hero because that’s what you are.

So now that we’ve determined how freaking amazing you are, why is it that as an action hero, you’re not always taking action?

As a woman entrepreneur, how many times have you actioned a business task at the twelfth hour and then triumphantly declared that you work better under pressure?

This is procrastination at its finest! Standing tall, proud and smug in its objective to delay you however it can.

So what is procrastination and why do you do it? 

The general definition is to ‘delay or postpone something’ and it turns out that you're really good at procrastinating for long term pleasure, for example a 10 year plan however amazingly bad at procrastinating for short term pleasure, for example checking emails and going on social media.

You've become used to doing the small, low value and unimportant tasks first thinking that being busy means being productive and you’re often looking for perfection before you take action. Here’s your first lesson. Your desire for perfection lives in fear. Fear of looking silly, of feeling embarrassed, being disappointed, ashamed, of being noticed, of failure, success, or perhaps a lack of funds. When you live in fear you live in lack and you live small. When you live small you shrink your self worth to nothing until you have no or limited self belief. Here's a thought...”The mountain is much more challenging to climb when you have little to hold on to.” So know that procrastination occurs because of either fear or lack of self worth resulting in complete disempowerment.

What is it that you procrastinate most about during your business day? What if you could master procrastination and arm yourself against it? Action hero, right? Did you notice I didn’t say eliminate procrastination? We'll always procrastinate because of the brain's instinctive drive towards survival. You should know that left up to its own devices, your brain will always default to what is known as the Motivational Triad: seek pleasure, avoid pain and act efficiently. According to the brain, when we have a task to do the most efficient way of getting it done..... is to do nothing. Resulting in much pleasure and no pain, job done! Efficient eh? Yes but it doesn’t serve us.

As a woman entrepreneur, I bet you have your own idea of what success is. Usually it’s about moving forwards and there really is only one way to get there...... ACTION! Successful people take action in spite of their pains and without denying their fears. They learn to associate pain with taking NO ACTION and it becomes greater than the pain of TAKING ACTION where they'll feel embarrassed, disappointed, ashamed etc.

So, the brain's default to seek pleasure, avoid pain and act efficiently means that successful people would rather experience the negative emotions from action than the emotions received from doing nothing. They’ve determined that there is more to lose when they don’t act.

Procrastination isn’t just about not doing what you need to do to move you forwards though. It’s also about the action you need to take to allow you to break free from what’s stopping you. And what's that?

Well, it’s the primitive part of your brain that simply wants to keep you alive, that's what. As we've evolved as a species we didn’t create a brand new brain relative to our new experiences. Instead we just added different sections to the brain which means that there’ll always be mental conflict as the different parts each play their role. I’ll explain more about that in a minute.

So what if you could override the redundant survival instinct of procrastination and plough on with vigour and bags of enthusiasm on all the tasks you usually dread and delay?

Well today I’m going to talk about how you can.

Let’s start by asking yourself this question, “What if I had taken action on my past procrastinations?” Can you even imagine what you might have moved towards. Keep imagining because no height is too high when you're soaring. It's all yours for the taking however you'll need to grasp just a few things about procrastination first.

What You Need To Know About Procrastination

The brain has different sections that individually contribute to the sum of our everyday functioning. Our prefrontal cortex is one of them and is the most recently evolved part of the brain. It can be found at the front of the brain.

Now, this is going to be your weapon against procrastination. It will override the Motivational Triad of pleasure, no pain and efficiency because it’s responsible for complex planning, decision making, focusing and organising your attention, moderating social behaviour, personality expression and regulating your ability for attention or distraction. Interestingly enough, it doesn’t actually fully develop until you’re around 25 years old and its basic activity is considered to be putting thoughts and actions together that relate to our internal goals. Do you recall knowing exactly what you wanted to do in your late teens and early twenties? No, me neither. Now I understand why.

So you have a fully functioning ‘over-rider’ that, if you learn to use effectively could be the armour you need to combat procrastination and set you up for your absolute success. How powerful is that?

Fear

One of my future shows, later on in the year will actually be about fear but we’re just going to touch on it briefly for a moment here. Did you know that there are 50 different types of fear that may cause you to procrastinate? Fear of intimacy, fear of death, fear of flying, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of public speaking, fear of the dark, fear of commitment... and the list goes on.

 When you're fearful, you activate your survival instincts causing a response of fight, flight or freeze. This results in your sympathetic nervous system taking centre stage to protect you. Hormones are released that heighten your senses and keep you alert and alive however these days your dangers are very different to the dangers of yester year where a delayed reaction could have meant death.

Today’s everyday fears are more related to losing a client or disputes within relationships of high emotional value rather than survival but the brain doesn't differentiate between the two. It just recognises fear and responds accordingly. When you continue to focus on why you DON'T want to take action you activate the fear/stress circuit especially when you start to focus on what will happen if you do take action ie the humiliation, disappointment, shame etc. Remember, what you focus on becomes your reality.

Now you’re in survival mode and fight, flight, or freeze responses are on full alert. Most of you will become paralysed by procrastination and flee away from the task at hand for fear of failure.

So when you procrastinate and it results in no action, the actual fear of not achieving your vision is very small. In order to overcome procrastination you have to make the fear bigger. Ask yourself this, “What is the reward of TAKING ACTION that is greater than if I don’t take action?” So if you don’t prepare for or make that speech for your upcoming meeting, you're going to be humiliated and seen as unprofessional. But if you prepare for the speech and do it well, there’s a strong chance you'll get hired, be seen as an expert in your field, add value to your clients world and add revenue to the business.

Giving yourself a positive reason to act will activate the dopamine receptors in the brain releasing dopamine, a neuro transmitter known as the ‘chemical of reward’. When you metaphorically score a goal and achieve a win, dopamine neurons are activated and you feel good. When you feel good, you’re motivated to act. This beautiful women entrepreneur is how you start to manage your mind.

The other thing to consider when you find yourself procrastinating is to deliberately step away from the fear response of fight, flight or freeze and move into a much calmer state thus activating the parasympathetic nervous system. This is a powerful way to overcome fear and build confidence. By slowing your breath down and breathing deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth you counteract the elevated biological and neurological functions that will work against you when normally they keep you alive ie raised heartbeat, raised blood pressure, increased sweat production plus the internal mental struggle against yourself. This action deactivates the fear response which leads to procrastination.

Additionally, our pre-frontal cortex can override our natural desire to put tasks off by the specific action of planning ahead of time. When we plan and schedule our tasks, we allow this area to do what it does best therefore quietening our natural desire to do nothing at all. So, for example, when I feel the urge to put off the creation and production of future Mind Your Business radio shows, I simply start planning by sourcing guests, creating themes, writing show content and mapping out marketing all ahead of time.

Doing this enables me to be proactive, puts me in a positive mental state and develops the skill of action rather than being ‘reactive’ resulting in firefighting. The attention is on what I’m focussing on and when I fix the focus on action and not about the pain received from action I move forwards.

Every time you allow fear to rule, you strip away another layer of self esteem/self image and you see yourself as someone who procrastinates and doesn’t take action. Over time this self image becomes your default as you deepen the neural pathways in your brain. By taking small action steps and planning in advance, you glide into the present moment and heighten self confidence, certainty and worth plus create new neural pathways and activate the neural circuits in the brain that cause you to want to take action.

Stepping away from fear and into action

  • Breathe to step away from fear
  • Fix your focus
  • Take a small step
  • Have a small win
  • Create a string of small wins
  • Build stronger neural brain pathways/activate neural circuits
  • Show self that no matter what happened in the past, you CAN take ACTION now

Imagine arriving in this present moment already having dealt with it. Take a minute to really think about this. Imagine you've got a business meeting scheduled with a prospective client. Ahead of the day, you might plan the journey, check out the venue, mentally confirm your desired outcomes, think of all the possible objections and questions that may arise, write down what could go wrong and decipher solutions, consider the best deal you can presently offer and remind yourself why you do what you do. This pre-planning frees up your mind on the day so that you can explore your prospective client’s needs, serve them unequivocally with vibrant mental energy, powerful decision making capabilities and without distraction.

If you believe that being in the present moment means denying the future then you’re missing the point! When you combat procrastination and plan for the future, you make it possible to really live in the future. For some, living in the future brings up anxiety of the unknown just as living in the past elicits feelings of depression. If you’re someone who attends to your mental garden regularly, weeding out negative thoughts and pruning plants of optimism living in the future is positively possible. If however you consistently neglect your mental garden you’ll be challenged with the prospect of the future and what it might bring. It’s time to get weeding!

That's it for this week.

Join me next week where I'll have a woman entrepreneur as a guest sharing her experience of procrastination, how it's impacted her and her business and whether she's been able to overcome it.

The show notes and audio for this show can be found at embodiedentrepreneur.co.uk. Follow on Mixcloud Embodied Entrepreneur.

If anything has come up in today's show that you’d like to explore further with me then please don’t hesitate to contact me. I always love to hear from you and I'd LOVE to know what you think of today’s show so do tell me! Just go to my website.

Hear from you soon and set your calendar for next Friday at 2pm. Have a powerful week beautiful women entrepreneurs. Thank you to everyone who has tuned in and who is supporting my desire to be the number one coach for women entrepreneurs and their minds.